My teacher Stephen Blumenthal taught me this (see link below). I didnt quite get it when he told me that while in the hospital, pretty much on the edge of life and death, in excruciating pain, not knowing if the insurance company would approve the very expensive treatment that was his last resort, unable to walk or care for himself, that he was so full of joy that none of it mattered. I get it now. Sometimes I post on here of things that challenge me. But its not a complaint. Its a process. And I am sharing in the moment without a great deal of context, so I get that it might SEEM like I have a problem. No. I am just moving through different states, different experiences. Sharing openly because I am in awe. Being present. NO LONGER HIDING OUT. Once I too was bedridden and in excruciating pain with very little hope. Two years of that. Years of struggling and suffering preceded and followed that particular CHALLENGE, which I was unsure I would escape from, until I decided to take ONE TWO-HOUR CLASS ONCE A MONTH, because maybe I could do THAT. HA! I still have pretty bad days. And my brain was injured in 1999 and several times since, and sometimes I cant do the simplest thing or remember what someone told me an hour before. Its been-yep-pretty damn challenging. But what has happened to me is that I climbed out of the Dark Caverns of Despair, with tons of love and gracious support from MANY CARING PEOPLE TYVM EVERYONE, and NOW MY DAILY LIFE FEELS MIRACULOUS. As I witnessed the joy in the transformation of my teachers life and medical condition, and as I contributed MY small piece to HIS puzzle of healing, I recognized the circle of sharing wisdom that yields so many delicious and nourishing soulfruits. Steve had already gotten that gift. He shared it with me in a time he was so challenged we none of us knew if he would make it. What a gorgeous rich seed he planted in my Garden of DeLight. I humbly received it, planted it in my Garden, and integrated it. A few years have passed. Today, both of us are getting better and better and ALL I WANT is to share that abundant basket of joy, the fruit of my harvest of love, with YOU. What I have learned: as I give freely, the more the joy expands-I DISCOVERED THIS WAS POSSIBLE RIGHT IN THE MIDST OF PROFOUND SUFFERING-and maybe just maybe if I turn on MY heartlight for and with YOU, the joy becomes a sharable, transmittable gift. Kind of like a LOVE-GIVING VIRUS. An incredibly powerful inoculation against despair getting the best of us. Thank you Stevie. More than words could ever say. I am in awe. I LOVE you infinity. I am so very very blessed. This adventure is getting GOOD!! PINK BUBBLES EVERYWHERE!
Posted on: Fri, 05 Sep 2014 16:17:07 +0000
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