My thought for the night. Meagan is currently sleeping and I am wide awake which is about right. My nerves and anxiety tends to go through the roof more at night knowing Meagan is sleeping and may not wake up the next morning. Sometimes my human emotions and my spiritual emotions fight with each other. . Its a hard thing to sit here and feel helpless. I want her to be healed so bad. There is so much I want to do in life and I want to do it with her. Its been a very long 17 months. Meagan and I were talking about the long journey the other day and during that time, she was in the hospital at least 5 days at a time and up to 13 times during the 17 months. It was rough, from surgeries, C-diff (4 times), dehydration, flu, infections, and other things. I spent a lot of sleepless nights with her there and then turning around and going to work the next morning. I remember being so tired and exhausted wondering how I would get through the next day, or the next week, or the next month. I remember my wife telling me to pray to God to give me the strength, the peace, and the understanding. Well, I started doing that more and things started to change for me. What I have realized is that our understanding can only handle so much, but when God allows us to see things through his understanding, things are so much clearer. What amazes me about Meagan, even when the doctors told her at U of M that she only has a short time to live, she looked right back at them and told them that God will be taking over very soon. Some of the looked at her like she was nuts. But there was one doctor that came back and prayed for Meagan and I wish I could remember his name. I know Meagan will get her healing and she will get her miracle soon. Meagan has the best doctor working for her now and that is God. Everything is in his timing and there is always a reason why it is. Sometimes we dont know until afterwards.
Posted on: Fri, 02 Jan 2015 05:38:51 +0000
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