My tribute to Ate: I can not find the courage to deliver this. I am certain I will fall before Id get the first words out of my mouth. Please bear with me as I try to send off my daughter while at the same time celebrate her short but wonderful life. I had alex when I was 19 - I was a teenage mom. Despite the stigma, I was silently excited at the fact that when Im 39, shell be 20. Ill have a bestfriend no one can take away. I am not the best mother, in fact, I must admit I had more failures than most of you. I had to be away most of the time earning a living, and Alex became the person of comfort for her siblings. Of course, along with my parents. She was very protective of her brother and sister. She became more like a mother figure to them than a mere Ate. She used to keep emotions to herself and guarded her feelings. However, as she was starting to mature, she was slowly opening up and I was in awe at her level of maturity, given her age. I was proud at the person she was slowly becoming. My family and I are struggling at her loss. I tried so hard to give them the opportunities to achieve their dreams, but Alex is already gone. There are times when Im about to lose it, but listening to my two other children about their dreams and what they promised their Ate, made me ashamed at myself if I will just give up. Emotions are complicated; unlike our body which you can measure accurately based on a uniform standard. But theres no such for feelings and emotions - the sadness, pain and grief can not be quantified, making it so hard to comprehend. I promised Alex not to leave her siblings, but I owe it to them to fulfill their dreams and Alexs dreams for them. I dont know how or where to begin, it doesnt really matter. Worry ends when faith begins. I have two cheer leaders in heaven who will whisper to God to help me figure things out - Daniella and Alyssandra. They will help all three of us move forward and put our lives back together. Although my time with her was cut short, I look back and feel grateful for the time I was given with her. I feel I must have done something right to deserve her, Bea and Marco. I love her and I will terribly miss her. I will keep her in my heart forever. I know shes in heaven smiling down on us, and I will live my life in a way that would put me right where she and Daniella are. It may take a long time, but I am happily looking forward to the next time I get to see and hug them so tight. Goodbye, Ate. Rest in Gods embrace, for now.
Posted on: Sat, 16 Aug 2014 08:47:22 +0000
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