My week in working on practicing what I preach: Saw my old inmate at the bus stop again waiting on the bus in front of jail ( work release) , I had my new inmate Joe with me again, I gave JL 5 bucks and some smokes. Again told him you come back thru, and I will not be so nice next time. I bought my co worker Lee , inmates Joe and T lunch , Big Mac meals because although it is not much , we finished the job we have been out in the sun for 2 months, It was nice to see the smiles, And I wanted to show some appreciation, Yesterday I saw my new buddy, the homeless deaf kid when Joe and I were on the road, I pulled up next to him, gave him 4 bucks, tried to give him some Gator Aid,,he would not take it, ( which leads me to think he is not out to get over on people, a can of gator aid powder is like 6 bucks,,he refused it,) Yesterday was in the 90s, the kid had a coat on,,so,yea I think when you have a dirty winter coat on in the heat, you may have a mental illness,No hustler will go thru that in the Georgia heat . Lees inmate T told me I have a good heart and I am blessed with a gift from God, Idk about all that, I told T and Joe about my brother, his murder, and the pain that goes with it, Alot of people do not know my Mom had a stroke right before that and needed 24 hr care at home for the last 2 years of her life. She was bed ridden the whole time,I told those guys this: You can see some really horrible things or go through them in your life, I sat on my hands for years feeling like crap, I felt and my family felt a lot of pain in two ways, loss by murder and loss by natural cause, One death quick, the other prolonged, One you could accept and one you didnt want to, They both ran side by side at the same time, one you moved on as best you could and the other was a 2 year trial in the courts that didnt allow moving on,, So I know pain, My family knows pain, In the end, it is what you do with it, Knowing pain allows you to feel others pain, It affords you the opportunity to comprehend others pain, It makes you reach out to others, it makes you care, And it is a opportunity, To me I no longer look at it any other way, I have looked at how I felt , I asked all the questions about life and let sitting idle with all that bad crap on my mind rule me, Thats not the answer, The answer is in action, The very thing that knocked you down in life should be the very reason you stand up for others, That you care for them,In essence, you have to build a better you and a better world, You have it in you, Its there,When you look at whats wrong in the world. whats going on around you, whats happening to your friends and complete strangers, when you understand pain, you grow by helping them, My life, my ups and downs, I want everyone to know, I am good with where I am at now days, I see myself in a better light, And I was shown that thru learning compassion. It isnt about me, this page and the idea behind it was for others, All I share with you is just what I learned, But its not about kudos for me,its just using my experiences and lifes ups and downs as a example for others, to give hope. Whatever your dilemma, your demon, your faults you see in yourself or your life,l all the negative, you have positive in you despite that. Others see it, maybe you need to also.If you feel bad, do something good, use it for something good, use it to your advantage, not for your down fall. These little acts of good deeds, they all add up. Little by little, day by day, Someone told me once, you solve your issues by clearing one thing off your plate at a time, thats true, BUT,,,no one ever said you couldnt add a good thing for the bad thing you took off the plate,And no one said that good thing couldnt help others as well as yourself, Think of it as the scales of justice,,good and bad need to be balanced, Balance yourself, and hell if you need a little help or others do,,put a finger on the good to trip the scale to that side, or do it for others. You may make someone who needs it smile, and if you get that from them, I promise you,,you will smile :) I smile everyday doing that, :)
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 09:49:22 +0000
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