My wife and I were invited to the wedding of our friends daughter this past weekend. It was a unique experience. First, the backstory: I began to realize it might be just a tad different when I opened the invitation to get the address to enter into my GPS to see the driving time. All I had been told previously was that it was near Athens, GA. The card said the wedding was on Wolfskin Road in Arnoldsville, Georgia. I did a double take and thought “How far back in the sticks is that?” I then flashed back to Bo, Luke, and Daisy May and the whole cast of “Hee Haw” and Cornfield County. (I still watch that on Sunday nights on the RFD channel, by the way), but I digress. It was an hour’s drive, about 60 miles, so me and SWMBO set out. We forgot the present and had to go back and get it, and I had to pull over once to fasten her bracelet. We barely got there before the preacher. After Athens, the closer we got to Wolfskin Road, the more narrow and winding the roads got. My GPS lady voice was getting confused. Once she said “Make a U-turn as soon as possible! No wait, keep going.” Once I glanced out into the woods and thought I could hear banjo music. I perked my ears up, listening for some guy “squealing like a pig.” I remembered my t-shirt that I have at home that reads “Paddle Faster, I Hear Banjo Music!”, so I sped up a bit. I have to slow down on curves though. SWMBO has a terrible time dealing with centrifugal or centripetal force on curves. She can get terribly upset. I have to keep that in mind when I tote the loaded Smith and Wesson in the van. I have to stow it where she can’t get to it quickly. We finally arrived. It is a beautiful old pre civil war farm house. It has a real double outdoor toilet. One side for the men folk and one side for the women folk. No Sears & Roebuck catalog though, real Charmin double rolls. They served fried catfish balls and some kind of cheese balls. I didnt know catfish had .. oh never mind. Liquid refreshment consisted of sweet tea and Apple Juice moonshine. I thought the moon shine moniker was only for fun until after I had three of them. I had a friend in my younger years named Cooter Brown. Boy, could he get drunk. You might have heard of him. After that third one, I was close to being drunk as him. I convinced SWMBO that I wasn’t though. She can’t drive at night so I was still the designated driver. The ceremony was out in a field amongst some big trees. A squirrel and two crows were in attendance. The preacher stood under an arbor that my good friend made out of a couple of old swingin’ doors. I thought of an old Merle Haggard tune when I saw them, but again I digress. See photo We experienced some really unique things I have never seen at a weddin’: A. The groomsmen had shotgun shells attached to their suspenders, each with a flower in it B. The little flower girl, almost stepped in a fire ant bed. Somebody hollered “Don’t let that baby get in the fire ants!” Sounded like SWMBO’s Aunt Willy. C. This is the only wedding I ever went to where the photographer told, who I assume was the maid of honor and the best man, “Y’all go lean up against that big round hay bale over there and I’ll snap a pitcher.” D. And instead of a guest book, we all signed an old wooden garden bench with a magic marker. All in all a good time and the food and company was excellent, with dancin in the barn after dinner. Congratulations to the newlyweds.
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 00:54:12 +0000
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