My wife got this in the mail the other day from Wal Mart...... Over the past several months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. Nov 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other peoples carts when they werent looking. 2. Dec 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. Dec 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the womens restroom. 4. Dec 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. Dec 21: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips. 6. Jan 14: Moved a CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area. 7. Jan 22: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged. 8. Jan 27: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, Why cant you people just leave me alone? Emergency Medics were called. 9. Feb 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. Feb 10: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme. 12. Feb 15: In the auto department, he practiced his Madonna look by using different sizes of funnels. 13. Feb 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled PICK ME! PICK ME! 14. Mar 2: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed OH NO! ITS THOSE VOICES AGAIN! 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was. And last, but not least: 16. Mar 16: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, Hey! Theres no toilet paper in here. One of the Staff passed out.
Posted on: Wed, 19 Mar 2014 21:45:05 +0000
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