NOT EVERY ADVICE IS GOOD FOR YOU By Pablo Yagayo While preaching at a crusade, a pastor advised the congregation never to allow someone to be their priority while you are just their option. If such advice was to be put into practice, very few men would be married. I have heard men lamenting horrifying stories of what they had to sacrifice to woo their wives who treated them as the last option during their courtship. Some brave men have invested in all kind of crafts – art crafts, aircraft even witchcraft. I wish the man of God knew what men go through to win hearts. Most of the congregation consisted of casual labourers whose entire well-being depends on their boss’ mood. They always pray that their boss’ football team wins lest they won’t get their wages, especially in times like these, where Uganda’s chances to qualify for World Cup entirely depend on some team losing in the Middle East. I need to find out where people get the authority to give quotable advice. Most people ask for advice when they already know the answer to their problem but wish they didn’t. Renowned author Dr Theodor Seuss Geisel once advised: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” He should say these words again to Gen David Sejusa who is on the run for saying extremely disturbing things that would make me regret, like his name suggests, if I quoted them in this forum. A politician once addressed and advised us at a career guidance seminar to live with no excuses and love with no regrets. A few years down the road, he was trapped in a money scandal that led to his imprisonment. His first press briefing was full of regret for joining his political party, blaming his comrades for making him a sacrificial sheep and vowed to bring down everyone who implicated him in the corruption saga. I almost reminded him to practise what he used to preach. My mother always advised me that if I am to ever borrow money, I should try a pessimist because he would be less likely to expect repayment. I tried it in high school. Our class monitor’s vocabulary was full of doubt. He never ended a sentence without the word ‘not’ in it. I was convinced that he was the right mark to borrow money from because I was sure he would say, “I know Pablo will NOT refund my money,” and go on to confirm his fears several months later. “Didn’t I tell you that Pablo would NOT refund my money?” he would say. He reluctantly lent me Shs 200, saying: “You’ll see my true colours if you do NOT refund.” I was certain that deep down in his heart he was sure I wasn’t going to pay him—and yes, I wasn’t. A few weeks later, he met me at the school canteen with a mug of milk and boiled eggs worth Shs 500. He grabbed my cup and downed it, hoping that there was some milk left. He was very bitter for gulping air and demanded for his Shs 200. I told him that I would pay him a few weeks later and he screamed, “I will NOT accept.” It was the first time I had ever heard him using ‘not’ in a relatively positive manner. Before I could negotiate for more time, he grabbed my last egg. I tried to put up a struggle to redeem my egg. He slapped me heavily six times in the face, saying, “I have taken this egg as part payment. You can use the rest to buy Panadol.” I had never felt that dizzy in my entire life. I asked my mother whether she gave me the advice based on experience and she told me that she read it on the Internet during her visit to Russia.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 07:22:41 +0000
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