NOT REALLY THE NEWS Gloversdam Alderwoman Dion Hatzenbuglar called a press conference on the front lawn of Gloversdam City Hall. Hatzenbuglar, who has been silent lately says she gas been busy researching tips from unnamed anonymous sources often referred to as, the voices in my head. This research has led to the discovery of another CLUB. Hatzenbuglar offered, We all know, (while making air-quote gestures), CLUBS is just the way those people refer to their GANGS, this gang has established it self in the First Ward on a large tract of land. They have a large,(again with the air-quotes), CLUBHOUSE and buzz around on souped up golf-carts. They call themselves the Muni-s. Their leader is Don Ron Baronelli, He holds court there everyday. He rules with an iron fist,er well a couple socks full of golf balls. In fact legend has it each morning instead of putting his socks on he fills them with golf balls and then ties a knot at the top, it works as sort of a handle. They make, should we say, effective convincers Hatzenbuglar started mumbling something about Council members being involved when a loud explosion shattered the city noise. They blackbirds nested in the trees just north of of City hall jettisoned from their perches and began a series of Dresden worthy carpet bombings of excrement. The people on the ground scrambled for cover, The birds continued without mercy as if they had completed their colonoscopy prep, the pavement became treacherous, cars covered, people gasping for air, choking on the smell. One figure could be seen standing stoically looking down from the third floor balcony over looking the south lawn. Focused on the center of the maze built there this summer. As if a miracle, the carpet of crap ended at the edge of the maze. Encircling it. The figure listened to the wailing below, then turned and headed back inside. It was Mayor Dayann Thaneking. More on this story and others soon.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 01:53:41 +0000