Need to not share this on Karis page, need to save this so I can cut and paste the right things to the correct people so I am posting this on my page. Comment if you want but please understand that I cant just be entirely quite with my feelings. If I ever get my LISW back or start working again, I will go back to being quiet and not venting publicly, but until then, being quiet only got me through grad school. I was torn to shreds when I was the bigger person at work. I am 100% sure I have a very strong emotional intelligence and very good support from parents teachers and friends growing up which allowed me to make it to grad school without being diagnosed with Attention Deficit. I strongly believe that is why undergrad in psychology came more naturally to me in college and reading music and being a music education major seemed to be more and more of a struggle. Social workers labeled me in grad school because if they helped me organize my papers they had to help everyone else I needed a label for them to give me the extra assistance I needed to write papers on my own. Once I started taking Adderall I didnt even need to meet with the writing tutor anymore because I could organize my papers on my own. Having a label allowed a supervisor to use it against me and lie that I did something wrong when I didnt. If I would have contacted the Ohio Social Work Board in 2002 they could have investigated it and I would have kept working. No one told me to do that. No other social worker told me. In 2005 I am glad a supervisor I only knew for two weeks contacted the Board over concerns about me anxiously calling her and not being able to stop. Now I know what to do if a supervisor lies about me. I dont think it will happen again. I put up with the poor treatment and her over attachment to venting to me. I still want to be helpful to others so if I have another supervisor that does that I can openly explain to them that it makes things harder for me working with these coworkers after hearing her vent about them. I will explain that there is a power difference and unless I am also a supervisor like her, I cant let her vent to me because in the end she has more power then me and I can get emotionally injured if she throws me under a bus. I can protect her and stay quiet but only as colleagues and not supervisor/supervisee. The following I cut and pasted to my page and now I can go back and post the first three sentences on Karis page. So sorry I missed your birthday. Bappy Belated Hirthday Kari!! Hope you had a great day :) By the way, I saw the Save the Detroit Theater page that was on your FB page. I had no idea about that. So its gone? That is so horrible. Did you know the current congregation at Trinity voted to sell the property? I am worried that if they sell the property someone will buy it and tear it down. Now with stupid McDonalds across the street it wont take long for Burger King or someone similar to buy the Trinity property. Hardly any of the original members from our Sunday school days are still there. You had to be there to vote too and I missed going that Sunday even though I wanted to make sure I went that week so I could vote. My husband and I just switched over to Our Savior Lutheran in Rocky River. After losing both of my parents, right now I cant imagine losing something else that I am so emotionally invested in. If I switch now, Ill become part of a new church family and wont have to say goodbye. I also decided I would rather send a weekly financial contribution somewhere that will still be around in years to come. Plus I think only the pastor should be paid at Trinity since the rest of the staff were part of the congregation first. If the church is financially having difficulty and those members continue to be paid, I dont feel like paying their salary. Since I am new to Our Savior, I dont know if the current staff were members first. Actually, their new organist was brought in to play for the service so he obviously should be paid. Here I go venting to you on your page. All I meant to do was say happy birthday. Please come some morning 9:45am (they share their awesome minister with another church (helps pay for his services if we pay half and another church pays for half of his salary) so they have to have their service at 9:45 instead of 10am) Oh, also 5pm every other Saturday they have a contemporary service. If you are ever free on a Sunday morning please come over and check out Our Savior Lutheran Church it would be nice to have more of our group back together at a church. Serena Cottrell attends Our Savior, you remember her, right? Anyway, parents of kids I graduated with (from Rocky River schools) still attend and many that grew up in that church now bring their children. It reminds me of the Trinity you and I grew up going to. Should you and I start a Save Trinity page? I love that building and my parents and my husband and I got married at Trinity, so I feel an extra attachment. Pastor Paula unfriended me on Facebook because I kept posting things to her page. She seems to spend more time on Facebook and cleaning her house then she does into actually working at Trinity. I found the Ginleys recently through Mr Ginley adding me as a contact on LinkedIn. Since then I have friended Pat and Megan on Facebook. A friend of mine does the childrens stuff at the church they now attend in Rocky River. Maybe you and Megan and I can get together sometime. Anyway, there are some new people still at Trinity so if you get a chance to go one morning let me know and Ill go with you. I am done with Pastor Paula though. She has driven so many people away from Trinity and tells me its the congregation that is important not the building, but my husband and I feel so accepted at Our Savior and everyone there comes out of their way to say hi every Sunday. I dont have to argue with my husband to come with me on Sundays he wants to go to Our Savior. The minister is planning on going to a bar sometime and mentioned it to Matt and my husband was definitely thrilled about that. Pastor Charles said Jesus went to where the people were This guy is just too awesome and personable. After I talk to Paula I always feel like I did something wrong and now with my parents gone I cant vent to them about Paula so I tell her my concerns and it always ends in an argument. I am sure God and Jesus never intended people to argue but to try and understand and accept each other. My parents have been telling me since Paula started at Trinity when you and I were in junior high to accept and work with Paula and talk to her about my concerns. Now that I cant vent to them first and then talk to her she gets defensive of everything even if I am not trying to bother her. I mentioned a book that a friend of mine told me about and Paula said dont tell me what books I should read Before that she said there is no such thing as the devil. The point of the book was about not letting negative or evil into your life. The following Sunday I attended the community meeting and got mad that the people there didnt care about saving the building and were talking about what they should save if they see the property. Mrs Rawlings and Mr. McNerny (sp?) were the only ones there from when you and I were children. I went back to apologize after my husband and I left at the end of the meeting. Once in the car I started crying about what they were talking about and I wanted to go back and apologize for turning my social worker (angry voice) on. But I wanted to talk about ways to increase attendance and ways to raise money for repairs to the building and cutting out Judy Feskos paid position and the secretarys paid position and volunteer my husband and I for janitors since my parents died and now they pay a cleaning service. Judy is like the head of the committee. She shouldnt even be able to do that since it seems like a conflict of interest. I need to review Roberts Rules of Order and see but my point is that they called the Lakewood Police when I showed up at the door and asked to go in. A bunch of members pushed me away from the door so I sort of hit the person (I know that is wrong and I wasnt raised that way and River schools really dont raise children that physically hurt others. River is where you go to get your feelings hurt, not your body :) I am joking of course. Not even sure why I did except I have gone to that church longer then anyone standing out by the door yet they were pushing me away from the door and I guess it was just too much). Well, that is when they were pulling out their cell phones and calling the Lakewood Police. That was just too much, I dont feel safe at Trinity anymore but still dont want anything to happen to the building. I am definitely staying at Our Savior and they have more children there as well and I would love to do a childrens choir but need to find out how I can help them there with that. They have a bell choir which is a lot of fun because of the other people that do it. I wanted to start one at Trinity and talked to Paula about it but then she never asked me how it was coming and she would never talk to me so I just decided to give up even going anymore. At this point in my life I need someone (to fill in where my parents were because even though I have done mental health therapy with other people as a social worker and I know how to keep myself from becoming depressed, it involves socializing with people in a positive way and staying active. All she and I did was argue.) I thought Elizabeth Rawlings would be supportive but she ended up saying what Paula said but just nicer. Basically all churches are struggling and Trinity is in a lower economic area. Those are excuses. We may need a new hot water tank, but God gave us talents in music and cleaning and filing etc. If we stopped paying the members that took over staff positions we could pay for a new water heater. Maybe you will tell me to be quiet about this like others from Trinity but I stayed quiet at a job I had in 2002 and the end result was I quit that job and ended up with PTSD around social workers. If I would have opened my mouth, my supervisor would have been fired (she was a year after I quit when a coworker finally did what I didnt). I knew she didnt mean to be doing what she was doing and I knew her since I was in grad school so I let her vent to me and yell at me and I let her give me more and more work because I knew I could do it. I should have said thats not my job, I am not doing it or told the director how she vented to me during supervision about how horrible everyone else there was. I am ready to go back to work finally working through the trauma that happened and I know how to protect myself at work but now I havent been working since 2005 and can no longer use my LISW until I prove to the social work board that I can handle being at work. The thing is, I quit when I realized I had an anxiety issue at work in 2005. I made sure I didnt harm any clients by working when I was emotionally struggling. But I couldnt afford a lawyer and the board suspended my LISW until I can prove I am emotionally okay. Its sort of hard to prove the abscence3 of something. But my actions protected my clients in 2005 when I quit so I didnt mess anyone up like my previous supervisor messed me up. I would love to figure out a way to help save Trinity the building and just hope those in charge at Trinity finally read my ideas and try them to help keep the congregation together in a building. But if they dont care to keep trying just like Our Savior is, I need to go to a church that does try. and a church that doesnt call the police on a fellow member. I would expect that any where else but at church we should listen and help first and know that God will protect us and the other person as long as we are behaving in a loving and caring way. But then I start thinking, I am the one who was emotionally injured at work when I was trying to be a good coworker/friend/whatever I just didnt realize my supervisor would then lie about me when she thought I was going to tattle on her. I would never have betrayed her trust. I would have talk to her about the problem first (and I did before finally calling EAP). EAP set me up with Bill Hamiliton (do you remember him from Trinity) I trusted him right away and did everything he said but I had to quit in the end. I should have listened and trusted myself and not talked to Bill. Bill should never have met with me because he and I know each other already. But now I really understand the importance of boundaries as a social worker and I have had experiences I would have never had if I would have remained perfect in behavior and attitude. I love social science research and God knows that. If anyone can get social workers to understand areas we have difficulty with, its me. I can only think that I went through those horrible experiences so that I can share them now with other social workers and help change areas where we arent as helpful as we could be with our clients.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 08:07:48 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015