Negativity : Lets throw it away from our lives. The guy who beeped at you is not angry that you took two seconds to go when the light turned green. He’s upset that his kids don’t communicate with him any more. The woman who gossiped about you at work is not really angry with you. She’s upset that she never got that big break she dreamed of, and feels stuck. The person who is nitpicking and makes snarky comments on the article you wrote is not really so upset that you misspelled a word. They’re upset because they don’t feel the love and affection from those around them. No matter what we do in life, we will never make everyone happy, and especially not all at the same time. We can try our hardest to do the right things, and we should as often as possible. But sometimes, others will react negatively and try to tear us down. It’s important to realize that this is not personal. If someone else is upset, or angry, that is what they have chosen to be at the moment. Their negativity is simply a way of trying to release the intense suffering they feel. They may just not know how. More than anything, it’s really a cry for help and a longing for friendship. If you can be a friend in this situation, and help someone get down to the bottom of their stress in order to release it - despite them actively trying to bring you down - congratulations. It’s one of the toughest things in the world to do. It’s not something you can do every time, because it takes an unbelievable amount of energy, patience, compassion, and willpower. Too much of this will drain you and distract you from accomplishing anything else. I have tried it and succeeded a few times, and I have also tried it and failed miserably other times. If you do give it a real effort and see that it is of no use, distance yourself from it and don’t engage. Perhaps they’re not ready to look within right now, or just need to hear it from someone else. But don’t feed into the negativity. Don’t let it infect you. No one can make us upset. We can only choose to be upset; and when we do, it is now our problem and ours alone. Now we need to be quarantined and treated as well, or else we risk moping, complaining, and spreading this infection to even more people. It’s important to learn how to deal with this type of thing in the most effective and evolved way. Otherwise, we will often allow the fear of dealing with this outside negativity to force us to play small. To speak softer than we want to speak, to hide the ideas that others might not approve of, to need others to tell us that what we’re doing is acceptable. And that does not serve anyone. If you pour your heart and soul into growing the best tomatos you can possibly grow, someone will still hate the tomato. That’s okay. That has nothing to do with you. You did not hurt anyone. Many other people will still like them; and if you enjoyed growing them, then it was worth doing. Sometimes you’ll create a batch that does not come out good. That’s okay too. Sometimes I also write things that are not as fluid and clear as I’d like them to be. Not every ball I hit is going to be a six. But the only way we can ever hit a six is by having the courage to keep stepping up to the plate and connecting my bat with all the deliveries.
Posted on: Mon, 04 Nov 2013 12:36:45 +0000
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