Nerves, doubts, confidence and competition There’s no doubt a paramount key to coaching and helping athletes compete and exist to their greatest potential is assisting them in managing and optimizing their thoughts. We benefit going within our thoughts for awareness and reflection but staying too long is trouble and especially detrimental when it comes to competition. Thinking is somewhat like robbing a bank. You want to get in and take what you need quickly, then get out and don’t go back for awhile. If you stay too long in the bank of your mind, it’s dangerous. You may go to prison, a self-constructed jail with prison-mates like doubt, false concerns, and counterfeit fears. It is an asset to be observant, to examine and review but only if kept in balance. Remember, wrestling is a feel sport. Practice and training is the time for questions and competition is the time for certainty and simplicity. Self Confidence. In reality, consciously or unconsciously, everyone struggles with self-confidence. We might act in ways that mask our internal tussle or say things that contradict and bury it under layers of phoniness and boasting, but the struggle for confidence is a human thing. Regardless of our exterior, most of us are uncertain and athletes are no different. Wrestling presents its own unique paradox with regard to self confidence. The very factors that can shake one’s confidence are also the factors that can build it. It’s unnerving to perform in front of people, especially when it’s as grueling as wresting. All eyes are on you and you are being evaluated, judged and ultimately determined to be the winner or loser. This is part of any individual sport and it’s what you sign-up for when you wrestle, but these factors can wear away at self confidence. On the other hand, you have a lot of control over your own results in wrestling and that can be very rewarding. In fact, the element of individual control is why many are drawn to it in the first place. You don’t have to rely on others with your results. While part of the athlete’s confidence will be developed by physical training and preparation, managing nerves and thoughts is another form of preparation and coaching. It’s easy to have confidence when you know you’re going to win, but what about when you don’t? What about when you’re uncertain? This is exactly where athletes spend much of their time, especially when they compete at a high-level. College wrestling becomes much more mental as the athlete evolves from a freshman to a senior. Managing thoughts does not get any easier during this time. In my experience, as the athlete gets older, they think more and it’s rarely to their favor. As coaches, we almost want the athlete to stay naïve enough to still believe in Santa Clause. We want them to hold on to the dreams they started with and not surrender because of invalid thinking. Everyone has their kryptonite; no one is exempt. If you put anyone under a spotlight and ask them to face pressure, adversity, fatigue, emotions, not getting their way etc., then maintaining poise becomes difficult. It’s really about keeping the thoughts balanced, managed and employing prevention. The victor is often the one who can direct their thoughts. Fear. So much of living a quality life is about having a long memory for the good and a short memory for the bad. You may be asking “How do we develop this way of thinking in ourselves or the athletes we coach?” It’s not easy, but it is feasible. To do so, we must take action. Athletes have to be a human owl. That means being aware, with the ability to reflect and identify, so they can practice prevention. We won’t eliminate doubts and nerves, but we can prevent the type of thinking that saps our liveliness, clouds our thoughts, renders us to half speed, disables us from being in control of our body movements, leaves us unable to pull the trigger of offense or employ defense, and fabricates injuries to avoid competition altogether; this is extreme fear but it’s alive and well. What is the real cause of fear? Some of it’s built in, necessary for survival and perfectly normal. However, what about the athlete that becomes paralyzed by fear to the point of premature fatigue, experiences nerves that will not give him / her their best opportunity to succeed, or encounters anxiety that cause them to yield to their competitors, not so much because they are actually better but because untrue thinking has embezzled their effectiveness. When nerves are at full mast, we worry, burn energy, pace, and unable to adjust or focus. When negative thoughts are escalated, we have a difficult time choosing and managing our thinking and energy. It’s easy to think defeating thoughts; they happen on their own. On the other hand, we can administer our thoughts, but we have to work at it and not expect perfection and complete elimination of these thoughts. The bottom line, an athlete can have nerves and doubts and still prevail. This might be the most important sentence in this message, so I will say it again: An athlete can have nerves and doubts and still prevail. You are more than wrestling. My personal opinion is that most of us base our self-worth on our results. When we win, we feel valuable. When we lose, we feel unimportant. Some of this is real and some is not. As a coach, we try to help athletes balance their thoughts. We won’t eliminate this course of thinking, but we can help the athlete supervise it. So, how do we do this? First and foremost, the athletes need to know he / she is more than their wrestling results. They, you and I are not exclusively defined by freaking wrestling. Wrestling will always be with us, but the present needs our attention. We have to be able to move on or suffer the penalties of not being able to move-on. The inability to move-on after a loss or a setback often results in self-destruction of various kinds. I’m not minimizing the influence of our great sport. In my opinion, there is no better way to prepare a human for life than the sport of college wrestling. Put it this way, wrestling will test athletes in a way that the classroom rarely will. I really don’t remember anything I learned in a college classroom. Like most, I just memorized for test day. However, I do remember my relationships, coaches, trials, challenges, success, experiences, growth, rewards, etc. No sport compares to college wrestling as far as effort, discipline, day in and day out grind, inconvenience, restraint, emotional and physical extremes, loneliness, isolation, and the roller-coaster of family emotional involvement. In spite of this, athletes need to understand that a loss is not catastrophic. Life goes on whether or not we choose to move-on with it. I know loss hurts. We all know it hurts and I’m certainly not diminishing the importance. What I’m saying is a lot of athletes entertain the possibility of loss before they lose. They sabotage themselves with nerves and doubts before the competition, eroding their effectiveness; this can be managed and reversed. For the wrestlers reading this right now, I want you to consider these facts: The current world population is over seven billion, the current U.S. population is roughly 314,165, 191 people. This means that there are approximately 314, 165, 100 people who don’t know if you won or lost today. I share this with you to help you put into perspective the pressure, doubts and fear you bathe yourself in¬¬¬¬--let it go! Take the shackles off and rumble. You’re still a solid and valuable individual. You can still keep your name and you will have multiple opportunities to rework your unfavorable results. The role of parents and coaches I frequently hear people ask, “What’s wrong with that kid?” More often than not, it’s faulty mind management and it’s not the athlete’s fault. Still, there are actions athletes can take to manage what erroneous and negative thinking will do to their performance. Athletes invest way too much in this sport to hand over points and wins to opponents because of nerves and doubts. Nerves and doubts can be influenced and regulated. At a minimum, we need to let athletes know the mind can be directed and point them in the direction. Lack of confidence and nerves have been the overwhelming reason why most wrestlers I know have not reached their potential. We all want what’s best for the athlete and to provide them with opportunities for success. Nonetheless, some coaches create or contribute to the anxiety and doubts of our athletes. There are many parents that impede their child’s opportunity to succeed as well. Often the coaches blame the parents and the parents blame the coaches. At times, both may be right. I will give you a personal coaching example. In 2006 at the national open in Las Vegas, I was sitting in my Brother Doug’s corner. I sat in his corner at every competition from 2001-2006. Also sitting in Doug’s corner was current University of Iowa Head Coach, Tom Brands. Doug lost the first period 6-0 to Jesse Janzen. I said some things that certainly didn’t help Doug compete. He did win the next two periods and the match, but something changed that day for me as a coach. Tom and I exchanged heated words throughout the day. In my heart of hearts, I knew he was right. Tom stated that he couldn’t effectively sit in Terry’s corner for multiple reasons either. The bottom line is Tom realized he was not the best person to be in Terry’s corner and I realized the same for Doug. I never sat in Doug’s corner again, and in 2007 and 2008 Doug made the world team, won the national open, and made the Olympic team. Was my absence in his corner the reason? Not solely, but there is certainly something to it. My point is that coaches and parents are wise to take a look at how they affect their athletes and their children in this sport. We may unknowingly be doing damage with words, body language, or project our own worry, fears or anxiety onto the athlete. It’s not supposed to be about us--the coaches and parents--it’s supposed to be about the athletes. I believe it’s worth the time to examine the communication and personal interactions in the days leading up to, and the day of, competition. Are the athletes competing to their best ability? If not, a look in this direction may help you as it did me. To summarize, remember that thoughts can be managed to encourage opportunities for success. Self-reflection is essential, but keep in mind you must move on. The present needs your attention. Further, don’t spend too much time in your own thoughts or you will create worries and doubts. Finally, don’t forget to keep it simple. Practice and training is the time for contemplation, but everything that surrounds competition should be uncomplicated and positive.
Posted on: Mon, 25 Nov 2013 02:16:16 +0000
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