New Medications for Women… St. Mon’s Wort Plant extract that treats mom’s depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours. E m p t y N e s t r o g e n Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn’t wait till they moved out. P e p t o b i m b o Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting. D u m e r o l When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q., causing enjoyment of country western music. F l i p i t o r Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. A n t i b o y o t i c s When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective in improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on make-up. M e n i c i l l i n Potent anti boyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines as, “You make me want to be a better person … can we get naked now?” B u y a g r a Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and duration of spending spree. J a c k A s s p i r i n Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your anniversary or phone number. A n t i-t a l k s i d e n t A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers. And the best: D a m i t o l Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
Posted on: Fri, 28 Jun 2013 01:45:53 +0000
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