News Alert: Scandal Erupts Once More at Purrsian Palace; HRH Accused of Hoarding Pink Sparkly Balls It was revealed earlier this morning by a palace insider that Sir Charles of Brainerd, former traitor to the kingdom who eventually declared loyalty to the throne and was later knighted by Her Furriness, has accused Her Majesty of deliberately hoarding pink sparkly balls under the royal bed. Moreover, Sir Charles alleges that HRH has repeatedly engaged in deceiving others regarding the location of said balls, and has demonstrated crying, moaning and hissing behaviors in order to force palace staff to search for them in vain. In a rare statement released to Royal Watchers Magazine, HRH responded to the allegations this afternoon by assuring loyal subjects that red, blue, green and yellow sparkly balls are scattered about all over the palace. She furthermore explained that she does not engage in lewd behaviors such as hissing unless, of course, squirrels or mice are involved. The truth, she stated, is that Sir Charles suffers from psychological delusions and bouts of extreme jealousy. The facts are clear: As others have previously noted, though Sir Charles desperately wishes to acquire balls, he simply does not have any at this time. As usual, Sir Charles declined to comment.
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 23:13:19 +0000
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