Next Joke Writing home with ease Dear Parent(s), Date: I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send me: __ Money (Cash) Amount: _____ __ Food (Cookies) Dozens: _____ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself. __ I am in love! __ I am engaged. __ I got married last weekend. My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on. __ Gave me a black eye. __ Committed suicide and left a note blaming me. __ Has fleas. My Professors are: __ Sadistic water walkers. __ Mental institution escapees. __ Brain dead nerds. __ Super oxygen thieves. Latest News: __ I wrecked the car. __ I cant use your credit card because I exceeded the credit limit. __ You are going to have a grandchild. __ False alarm--you arent going to have a grandchild. Food: __ Is great! __ Even makes me appreciate your cooking __ I have had pizzas and soda for the last twenty meals. __ I stopped eating out of fear. Grades: __ I am making all As __ I am not being properly challenged __ I will be home after this semester __ I never knew they had a letter grade below F I study: __ Night and day __ All the time __ Eighty hours a week __ Only on Sunday afternoon __ None of the above Daily Devotions: __ I read my Bible everyday __ I cant read __ Someone stole my Bible while I was at the local bar On my last visit home, I left: __ My glasses. __ My paper that was due yesterday. __ The clothes you washed for me. __ The check to cover my delinquent tuition payment. __ Other ____________________________. Please send above items by FedEx (Priority One) or UPS (Blue). Laundry: __ My white underwear is now _______. __ I am saving money by not using detergent. __ Dont worry, I washed my clothes last semester. __ I hang my clothes out the window when it rains. My room: __ Can pass your white glove test. __ Is only ___% full. __ Could not be located last Saturday night. __ Was rented by the ROTC for hazardous terrain training. Parties: __ I dont inhale __ I only go to meet people __ Havent been to one since this morning. Hope you: __ Miss me __ Can live without me __ Are not overdoing the celebration of my absence Salutation: __ Your Daughter, __ Your Son, __ Yours,
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 12:08:02 +0000
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