Ni Pascal, There is no smoke without fire and I got a story to share with you. I happened to have grown knowing many Bali folks and traveled wide and some of the Tita’s who were Police officers I knew very well. The Title Fo-Ndikang was bestowed upon my father by the Fon, a story I wrote how and why being a relationship with the Fonyonga’s. Fon Doh calls me Fo-Ndikang and has a good relationship with my family. Haven said that, I am going to tell you, it is unfortunate we get to meet many through this forum though most of us don’t know each other we share information and learn as we go. By our culture, if you inherit a title, you go to the Palace and present it which I have not done so yet due to time. Some may be in same soup and some do it privately and we end up seeing may Ba’s popping up. Not all titles are presented to the Palace when one succeeds. In the case of disputes for successorship then the palace can get involved and makes peace. Others call themselves Ba’s just for power and self-recognition. Who are we to refuse titles from someone else’s compound? I got caught up in a corner by the Fon himself for having not been to the Palace yet. I do not expect anyone to clap for me same as my dad did and does not bother me clapping to anyone. I don’t’ wear the coat of a title holders which might not be hereditary though no one can dispute mine it is the only one in Bali. I sign off my emails as Ba Mfon because it very unique period and nothing more. I have three other titles, one a crowned a successor from Balengsap, a due rights, one from Nkambe a Nformi and one from Mamfe and by the time I go through the process of presenting them through the right channels then can claim them in Bali and will belong to groups like the Nchibi group I love. What does it mean to me or others? Absolute nothing except hanging out with the jones if I do care and exercising my culture. My point here is that it is unfair to others when some carry titles when is not due and hate when it shoved down our throats I say. We must respect the rule of the game. I happen to know a certain individual whom we clapped hands to when his father was still alive. I happened to have been visiting Bali and grew up with his elder brother and had known their father extremely well. I knew he had passed but had never met his successor. Visiting Bali one day and driving, I was flagged down in front of their father’s residence. I pulled over excited to see his senior brother whom I grew up with and had not seen in many years. He told me, don’t get out of the car when he noticed it was me, hurry and let’s catch up with pickup truck with the corps going ahead while we discuss. The pickup is carrying the corpse of Ba he mentioned by Ngumba people for burial at the compound. I never knew they had another compound but drove faster to catch up and when we got there, the DO Officer was waiting with many dignitaries and the corpse was rushed and buried inside the nket built by the ngumba people. That was my first time to witness a burial by Ngumba people in Bali without the ladies and we went into the Tali. In my mind I thought, it was my man who had passed but would have gotten a call from my home because we were close I thought. After seeing the photograph of the deceased, then I thought something is not right here. Who was he that died because I knew of the other younger brother who claimed he was the Ba and not only that, had been introduced to our Ndahkum as Ba and we had been clapping hands to. I was stunned and could have sitting at the wrong man’s funeral. I then asked the elder brother is that the photograph of the Ba who passed? Yes, he confirmed that was the one who succeeded Ba. In my mind I thought the one I knew was the one dead who was a member of our Ndahkum. I did not reveal that to the elder brother but it was very embarrassing to me and he almost caught me hiding my feelings. I don’t think you know this one because he was far younger than us he said. Knowing our culture that you claim titles only when one’s father has passed to cut the story short, I was angry and when I got back, I called the gentleman and told him I was at his father’s compound and attended Ba’s funeral. I told him I transported their elder brother to their family compound and witnessed the ngumba people bury Ba to let him know he was busted. It was later that individual finally succeeded the father many years down the road. I still give him respect and clap to him in his house when I visit as we did with my dad. That experience was enough for me but who am I to challenge anyone? You asked if I ever knew if your father’s name was Doh and not simple Doh. Well, I grew up with your elder brothers, Ni Fidelis et al whom we are almost same age group and know their mother very well at Azeri where we hung out during holidays as students. I saw your dad as DSP, you uncle retired in Mamfe, knew that of Lagos. I visited your dad many times with my dad at his home on retirement and my dad gave me a brief history of your family as a whole when we went to give drinks for my elder brother’s wife. You may not know me but my elder brother is married to your direct cousin. Ba Sama you mentioned, I met a couple of times and have shared some information with him concerning relationships with both families and he was surprised that I knew his uncle he grew up with Ba Tita. I have come to know more of your family than you may think in recent years because I ask questions as a Moyo. I am not to judge anyone’s title but there must be a limit in a public forum and we know those by our culture and virtue we clap hands to. So long as no one disrespect others where we know fully well the limits are or take it personal or expect others in a public forum to carry them on their heads. It does not matter even if it is a woman, we give respect where it is due. I do not expect a “Gwe” to wear clown cloths and think others have to clap for them. Let me share a small story with you. From time when I answered the Fon Yes Sir, I learnt a lot what it means to know your culture and have been learning. The Fon had asked me if I wanted to go to the Palace with him on a visit to nkambe with ba Tita Nyagassa, Ba Tita Kang, an a few others. He asked what I want to be? I said Gwe Sir. “Cha bum, ou ma nju e bim bo nga yes Sir? “ a bong u loh e nge ke nted e fah njeh gwe” my dad responded. That accompanied a heavy “Ndong” on my head that knocked me over for responding to the Fon Yes Sir. Noticing the weight of the ndong, the Fon instead barked at my dad and asked me to move closer to him. Dad was embarrassed and knocked sense into me and there he started teaching me our culture and took me everywhere he went. He was quite a joker himself and also joked Ndzie ba oh and his friends greeted him ndzie ba mfon ooh, or Ndzie Fo-ndikang ooh. He is a kid and polished my shoes very well the Fon said and if he does not know, you have to teach him. If you hit him again, he may not polish my shoes good again the Fon said. That earned me an invitation and I rode with Mfon Galega in his Opel front seat to the Nkambe Fon’s Palace as I carried his seat. I was the proudest kid as his limousine rolled into Fon Nfor’s Palace lined by Tita’s and Nformi’s to receive the Fon a Royal visit. That was the beginning of my interest to learn our culture. The next time I used chah bum was in US and boy did I learn during his one and one visit with me. Ni Pascal, I always cherish a good discussion when it comes down to Bali Nyonga culture and history and thanks for sharing too. “ na tori di bring tori” I always say. Now you understand why I ask questions or make comments though I have many other stories to share with you as time goes on in private. I still owe you a photograph of your late uncle we took at Kaduna and did not forget. Have a good one and keep the conversation moving and you will learn. Ba Mfon
Posted on: Wed, 26 Jun 2013 00:06:45 +0000
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