Niall imagine for Sabrina You were standing in front of your mirror. You slowly slipped out of all of your clothes, and just looked at yourself. Niall wasn’t home, and he wouldn’t be home for a while, he was at rehearsals with the boys. They were starting their tour soon, and so Niall was gone a lot. He missed a lot whenever he left. He wasn’t as observant when you didn’t spend a lot of time together. When you two spent all day every day together, he knew you better than he knew himself. He could tell when you were upset, or tired or hungry or just wanted to cuddle. He could tell your mood, and what you were thinking. But when you were apart, it was like you were a stranger to him. So there you stood. In front of your mirror, in nothing but your bra and panties. You didn’t look up for some time, and when you did you went straight to the bathroom. You grabbed your blade from the top draw, and returned to the mirror. My boobs are so small. - My skin is too pale. - My hips are wide. - My stomach isn’t flat. - My thighs rub together. - My nails are gross. - My nose is weird shaped. - My teeth aren’t perfectly white. - Your thoughts were racing. You vision was blurred, and blood, warm, burning blood, trickled down your arm. You slumped onto the ground, and cried. It was a silent cry, an internal plea for help. You hated feeling this way. You hated hating yourself, and you hated all the scars you needed to hide. You hated keeping secrets from Niall, and all the people you love, but you couldn’t make yourself feel okay. With each racing thought, another slice was made on your wrist. The pain wasn’t even pain anymore. You couldn’t feel a thing. You were numb, and trying to block out everything going through your mind. You picked yourself up from the ground, and dragged your tired, aching body to the shower. You cleaned up, and then dove into a baggy sweatshirt, and sweatpants. You crawled in bed, and closed your eyes, just wishing to forget everything. When you woke up in the morning, Niall was lying beside you. His face looked swollen, but you figured he was just tired. You pulled yourself up from the bed, and tip toed out of the room. “Where are you going?” Niall asked groggily. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” You said. “No, it’s fine.” Niall replied. His voice was shaking, and you didn’t know what was wrong. Your mind started to scatter, and your thoughts were racing rapidly. Did he cheat on you? Did he want to break up? So many possibilities of what could go wrong flooded your brain. “Niall, is everything okay?” You asked. “Maybe you should tell me.” Niall half-whispered. “Did I do something wrong?” You asked again. “It depends what you consider wrong.” Niall said. “Can you please just tell me what’s going on?” You asked nervously. “Will you take off that sweatshirt?” Niall asked you. You were really confused, but then you thought. Had he figured out what you had been doing to yourself? “Why, it’s cold in here?” You said trying to keep cool. “Please.” Niall said, on the point of breaking. You slowly peeled the sweater off your body, and tossed it aside. You kept your arm close to you, and kept it away from Niall’s sight. “Will you come here?” Niall asked timidly. You slowly walked toward him. When you got over to the bed, Niall reached out, and gently pulled your arm away from where you were hiding it. He looked your fresh cuts up and down, with wide, teary eyes. “Why?” He whispered. “I hate everything about myself, and we are like strangers Niall. You’re never around, and it’s hard for me. I feel alone all the time, and I am left with all my thoughts, and they eat me alive. I sleep most of the time you aren’t here just to forget everything. I am so sorry.” You said quickly, letting all your emotions spill out. Niall nodded, and took everything in. “I’m sorry.” Niall said. “No, don’t be, this isn’t your fault.” You whispered, tears escaping your eyes. “It is. I should have noticed something was wrong, and I shouldn’t have made you feel alone. I should be here more often, and let you know how beautiful you are more. You can hate yourself all you want, but I will always love you. There is nothing for you to hate. Please don’t say you hate yourself.” Niall said. “I don’t look like all those perfect girls.” You whispered. “You don’t need to. You are perfect because you are you, and that’s all that matters. If people can’t accept who you are, then they don’t deserve to know you.” Niall said. You sucked in a deep breath, and buried your face in Niall’s neck. “I don’t want you to find relief in a knife. I want to be your relief.” Niall whispered. You shuddered, and sobbed harder into his warm, soft embrace. “I love you so much.” You whispered. “I love you too angel.” He replied. Niall walked you into the bathroom, and took all of your razors. “I’m sorry, but I can’t leave these around. I don’t want you to put any more scars on yourself.” Niall stated. You nodded, and watched as Niall flushed your razors down the toilet. You were scared to be honest. How were you supposed to deal with your pain, if you couldn’t cause pain? Niall made you forget that though, he took your hand in his, and walked you back to bed. He laid down with you, and pulled your body close to his. His arms wrapped around you protectively, and you snuggled as close to him as you could get. “I won’t let anything hurt you ever again, not even yourself.” He whispered. You nodded, and buried your face in his chest. You looked up at his sleeping face, and fell in love with him all over again. Hope.you liked it! Styles ;)
Posted on: Fri, 02 Aug 2013 09:56:34 +0000
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