No Friday night rant this week people. Instead I have a very important announcement. I have decided to run for Government (inspired by the elections this week, you see). I shall be running solely on one simple policy. I plan to have a new criminal offence on the statute books. That offence shall be called Being Annoying. The way I see it there are several offences to this grave crime: 1. Getting in my f**king way - this applies to mainly to everyone on the motorway but could also be extended to cover all major roadways, highways and (of course) any aisle in the f**king supermarket. 2. Being annoying online - anyone who shares those stupid inspiration posts, new age shite, whittering on about football too much or ramming photos of ugly children down my throat will be guilty of this offence (please note that this can be extended on my own whim). 3. Being annoying in person - this shall apply to anyone who attempts any form of conversation before my seventh cup of black coffee in the morning.or just tries to jolly me along when I cannot be arsed. I have yet to decide on the penalty for committing this heinous offence but given that I am a firm believer on letting the punishment fit the crime I daresay a catapult, ice-pick of flame-thrower shall be involved.
Posted on: Fri, 23 May 2014 19:19:16 +0000
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