No and Yes: A Battle No...is a powerful word. Defined as negative response, we use this word to affirm our disapproval, opposed response to requests and offers, but overall this word is working of our will. Throughout my childhood, I heard no thousands upon thousands of times. No, dont touch that! No, you will not use that attitude with me. No, you may not spend the night with your friends. But mostly....no, you cant EAT that, and usually followed up with, youre big enough already. This last one is indeed sad, I know, but Im not a victim of this negativity any more. Now for many purposes, no is necessary to protect us from harm, destruction, and terrible consequences. There involves a teachable moment as to why the parent says and what they mean. Without explanation, intimidation and curiosity heightens. The child, or in this case, I, began questioning these nos. As I look over those years subjected to no, I realized I had a thought and feeling running through me. No was a challenge to my will. No was controlling me and choosing for me. I want choice between yes and no! I began a war with NO. My life became YES. You would think a life of yes would lead to a positive realm without restraint. It led me into path of understanding this abhorred no. In regards to food, I felt deprived. In my mind, I thought, NO one will tell me what to eat and not to eat for rest of my life, or no one knows me, I know myself, and whats good for ME. I rebelled against NO and stormed down a path of terrible judgment, lack of restraint, and over excess. Though I allowed myself whatever I wanted, no haunted me. All this resided in me as I struggled with image, relationships, and overall my eating and weight. I failed miserably at any type of disciple or routine. I had created a monster from my pain. A hurricane of realization emerged upon me and truth was revealed to me. I realized I was fueled by pain and misunderstanding of no from my childhood. My family were wrong by not teaching me proper discipline and the reason for consequences. I was wrong by letting that pain drive me like the chaff in the wind. I used to go on radical diets where I consumed no carbs, no fried food, no soda with the only reason, its not good for me. My mind echoed, youre big enough, no you cant have that. Id fail within a few days with more weight than when I started. Looking back to past, living today, and expecting the future, I understand no only works for me when I know why. In the ups and downs of losing weight, no is necessary as long yes is included. Today I constantly practice saying, no, hamburgers arent good for you, but yes, we can have a portioned lean meat burger on a whole wheat bun, no, you cant have chocolate, but yes, we have dark chocolate espresso beans, lets have a few with tea. yes you can enjoy a fatty fast food lunch, but no, you wont feel as good as would eating cleaner foods. Many nights its sounds like this...no, you cant have anything to eat because youll over, yes, Ill have a small greek yogurt and ask my husband for support as Im tempted to overeat. Follow your nos up with a yes, provide a reason and remember the consequences of both. Are the consequences positive or negative? Are they leading you down a road of destruction or success?
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 14:39:24 +0000
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