No one intends to say stupid things. No one can be privy to everyones personal experiences and we all have to be tolerant as we bump up against one another. Also, I find online displays of indignation grating. So, as tolerantly as I can, I will say this: if someone had a parent who died when they were very young, do not say, Oh, so you didnt really know them, then. Its everyones first instinct to minimize the negative, its natural and well intentioned, but in this case, you are wandering off the path and into the territory of being dismissive. The persistent mystery of a lost parent that you never got to know in person is a particular sort of experience and in no way insignificant. When you downplay its significance, you are trying to help and failing. Dont say anything. Its cool. Someone who has a dead parent knows that dead parents are too big for casual conversation and its best just to move on along. Just nod like you got it. Its fine.
Posted on: Sun, 27 Jul 2014 15:23:52 +0000
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