No one will love you until you learn to love yourself. Ive had a hard time with this over the years. Ive pushed away more people in my life than I care to say. And unfortunately, I do have people that can vouch for this. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and moderate/severe depression in October 2011. Then it all got really bad in March 2012. Some of my friends who were around me between October-March 2012 (when my grandma passed away) know how...sad of a person I became. I was scared to be by myself. I always thought someone was out to get me. I took myself to the ER several times a week. It was truly a terrifying time. My mental state was not good and it took until the beginning of this year for me to stop having my episodes. I had a roller coaster of a year and I was not going to let it set me back into a relapse of what happened to me in the past. I was going to let it allow me to become mentally stronger. I feel I have gained a lot of confidence and self-happiness in myself over this last year, but like anyone else I have my days where I fall into an endless black hole. Then it takes a few days for me to come back into my own. Though these mild occurrences still happen, I feel I can put myself into a normal category again. I have been on anti-depressants(I was on 150mg of Zoloft), anti-anxiety medications(1mg of Xanax) for three years, and I feel very proud to say Ive been OFF all my medications for 2 weeks. It doesnt seem like long, but this is a huge step for me! I relied on my medications for most of the past few years and I finally felt I reached a point where I truly didnt need them! I know that without my friends and family I wouldnt have been able to climb to the top of this awful state I was in and without them, I would still be where I was three years ago! I do not want pity out of this, I just wanted to share something a lot of you did not know! This is something I feel I can and should be very proud of! I finally feel like I can be normal and I dont have a drug in my system to make me happy!
Posted on: Sun, 16 Nov 2014 03:25:40 +0000
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