Nobody can say for certain - sometimes not even the parties involved - why a relationship doesnt work out. But having zero skin in the game, I will say that this phrase in Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martins statement about their breakup bothers me a great deal: We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children... Im not in their shoes. I cant judge. And maybe its just awkward phrasing on their part (even though Gwyneth fancies herself a writer). But I will say that more often than not, when I hear about a separation, it involves some measure of one (or both) of the parties having changed. And many times, its directly related to kids. I made a similar comment on a link that Colin Lenton posted awhile back but I think that moving away from who you are (not growing as a person, I think those are different things) to make yourself all about someone else - whether your spouse or your kids or some other person altogether - has to dramatically affect your existing relationships. I love my kids to the moon and back. But I am not a mom first. I was - and am - Kelly first. Thats who I am best at being. This mom gig? Its not something youre born with. You figure it out as you go along. And it does profoundly change many things about you. But if you try to put it before any thing else about yourself, I think you will fail.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Mar 2014 23:24:25 +0000
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