Non-Parents can just go ahead and skip this. Parent Moment #342: The Apple I put the kids in bed because their insanity reminded me its their bedtime. As I turn the lights off and walk out the door, they begin to scream in response to me not singing them a goodnight song... we will ignore the fact I JUST told them I would be right back with their water and milk (separate items.. obviously). After listening to what had to be a masked man from the closet torturing my children to make them scream while I calmly poured their drinks (yes, I took my time), on my return I heard the oldest one trying to con the youngest to get out of bed and see what hes doing. NO.. she will not. Here come the tears again. I asked why she was crying and what her problem was when I obviously was coming back. She babbled something in a language I dont speak. It was some sort of baby/wookie hybrid children use because they havent yet mastered the art of spontaneous lying. Now, I am upset. Most parents will tell you that a tired screaming child is a curdle you cant even be mad at because.. theyre just tired... which makes you angry on the inside. Yay. To make matters worse, I then try my patented Dad Voice. I dont want to but she needs to know the screaming is unacceptable. Me: OK FINE.. BUT WHEN IS IT OKAY TO SCREAM LIKE THIS IN BED? Expecting her to say.. never Daddy.. Jayla promptly stops crying and flashes that shitty grin I use when Im about to be an ass and says: When theres a fire. Me: ... Well... yes.. Just go to bed. (smartass) Lesson: Teaching your kid sarcasm at an early age will come back to play you.
Posted on: Tue, 27 Jan 2015 00:34:01 +0000
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