Non-UK FB friends of mine will find some of the following references useless (well, tbh, most of them). Some, however, are universal: Signs that (as a man) you’re getting old (In no particular order) • You are incensed that chocolate bars and other confectionery are definitely smaller these days • You make involuntary grunts/exhalations when either sitting down on or getting up from an armchair/sofa etc. • You realise that the metric system is not going away but think “Damn it! I will continue converting kilos into pounds/metres into yards [etc.] if it kills me!” • Following from above: you can, almost without thinking, translate £2.50 into “50 bob” and you can explain what a guinea was (and probably, why such a monetary denomination was only used in the horseracing fraternity even in your day) • You find yourself saying/thinking “What was so wrong about Berni Inns/Aberdeen Angus Steak houses anyway? Prawn cocktail, steak, Black Forest Gateau. Simple meal, sorted (and you knew what you were getting!)” • Looking at a scantily-clad young girl walking down the street and thinking “Phwoaar! You’re going to catch your death of cold dressed like that!” • Acceptance of the situation that we’ve all probably been eating horsemeat for years in ready meals so what’s all the hooha been about? I’m still breathing, aren’t I? • Knowing, or being able to have a guess at, the name of any member of Pan’s People whose photograph is put in front of you. A severe version of this syndrome is being able to point out that they weren’t in Pan’s People actually, but were in Ruby Flipper • Knowing that Ruby Flipper were a dance act on “Top Of The Pops” because you saw one of their performances • As soon as actress Alison Steadman’s name is mentioned you say/think “Ah, yes: Abigail’s Party” despite being an admirer of many examples of her other work • Knowing all the words to the Shake and Vac song AND remembering what colour top the lady was wearing (see below) • Knowing the names of all the “Watch With Mother” programmes and the days on which they were shown • Monday “Picture Book” Tuesday “Andy Pandy” Wednesday “The Flowerpot Men” Thursday “Rag, Tag and Bobtail” Friday “The Woodentops” (in case you were wondering) • Remembering Eric Thompson as the narrator of “The Magic Roundabout” rather than for being Emma Thompson’s dad (Is he? REALLY???) • Being able to assert that the Shake and Vac lady’s top was fuchsia, not pink (losing points, however, by providing a YouTube link – you’re too “down with the kids”, there) • Saying “Nay, nay, Mr. Wilkes!” as soon as anybody brings horses into a conversation • Knowing that TV soap “Emmerdale” was originally called “Emmerdale Farm” • You don’t understand why old school comics are called non-PC yet the likes of Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr, and Ricky Gervais et al can spout racist, misogynistic crap and still have people paying to see them AND swear like troopers AND they’re regularly on the Telly! (admittedly, this last bit doesn’t apply where Frankie Boyle is concerned, thank The Lord) I shall now go and lie in a darkened room ;)
Posted on: Sun, 06 Oct 2013 16:35:02 +0000
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