Not often, but every now and then, I find myself gripped by this sudden sense of unreality, as though the veil has been pulled back from my eyes and I suddenly see and feel and sense the world around me with clarity, only to be struck by the knowledge that its all just some kind of elaborate illusion. It never lasts for more than a moment or two, but its this feeling that never quite leaves. When I was younger I used think of it as a sign of a future psychotic episode, or maybe a sign that I was waking up from the Matrix, but now that Im older Im not so sure. Maybe its the realization of my soul that the life I now lead is only a temporary state, and that the truth of existence is something much grander and more magnificent than I could ever dream of as long as I remain tied to this body of flesh and blood and neurons that can only communicate with one another at the slow, slow speed of thought, and maybe one day in the future, when I close my eyes for what I will then know to be the final time, I will open them again, stretch my arms, and remark to nobody in particular that I just had the most vivid dream, only to find that as I try to recall the events within, it fades into nothingness, as do all dreams, to be replaced by the memories of the new real of this other me. I wonder, then - what is it that I will remember of this life?
Posted on: Fri, 21 Mar 2014 14:06:22 +0000
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