Note to my Boys...... You wont remember the way I stood in the bathroom late that night in labor with you, fearfully and excitedly gazing up at the moon, knowing I was going to bring you into the world soon and whispering to you, We can do this. You wont remember the way you looked at me right after you were born, or the way I pulled you up next to my heart and marveled Hi, baby in your ear. You wont remember the way you healed my broken spirit. The way you completed my heart. I was weak before I had you, and you made me whole again. You wont remember the way I proudly watched you everywhere we went, you were always the most beautiful boy in the room to me. You wont remember the way you made me laugh with all of the silly things you did. I saw how kind your heart was. You wont remember the way I would brush the hair off of your forehead and the way youd look up at me. Without any words, our souls could touch and say everything to each other that words couldnt. You wont remember the tickle fests we had, and how I always cheated so I could hold you close and cover your salty little face in kisses. You wont remember all the times I went to bed at night and felt such fear being your mother: Am I doing okay? Have I messed up too many times already? Can I be the kind of mother he needs? You wont remember the way my heart broke and grew a little bigger each time you passed a milestone, watching the sand fall through the hourglass while feeling overjoyed witnessing you expand and grow. You wont remember the way I would hold your little feet in my hands, imagining how much bigger than my own feet they will one day grow, and how I will have to let you go. You wont remember, but I will... and Ill hold these memories in my heart for the both of us.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Jan 2015 13:56:47 +0000
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