Notes to Me: My doctor says I am suffering from PTS due my husbands traumatic death......because I was a nurse and he walked in our kitchen door, held his trembling arms out and he died in mine. I tried to revive him for 20 min before 911 came. Tomorrow it will 4 months. I have short term memory loss due to stress they say. Today I went through my notes and the notes to read the notes. I think I have been misdiagnosed. Yes, I do think so. I just needed time to use my long term memory.Yes, I needed to remember to heal. Yes, to remember his youthful smile, his laugher, his voice as he sang and played with our babies. I needed time to remember all the reasons I fell in love with him.I needed time to remember our tender years and little things we shared, like making homemade bread together, the flower bed he made for me but ruined when the swing broke and he fell off the porch into the flowers. The awful homemade pizzas that he and the kids thought was better than pizza hut.The big breakfasts that we all loved and ate too much. The Blackberries and Strawberry jam we made together and the pig we raised but ended up unable to eat him cause he made a pet out it. The chickens we couldnt eat cause we named them and they were pets. So many memories flooded my mind. Skinny dipping in the mining pond above our house while the kids slept,praying with and for our children and playing Rook. Yes, it is called selective memory loss for me. I dont want to remember that he isnt coming home this time or ever........but we can and will see each other again.......praises be to our Lord!
Posted on: Mon, 04 Aug 2014 01:04:30 +0000
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