Now I get it. A mistranslated book written by cave people is a reliable guide to the modern world, there’s an invisible man in the sky who likes to watch you , two thousand years ago, an alter ego of this invisible man knocked up a Jewess , the progeny of this was both god and the son of god, this son of god was killed (but not really, since he’s also god, and god can’t die) and then came back to life. His killing was a necessary sacrifice in order that we might be forgiven for the sins of Eve, the first woman in the world, who lived 6000 years ago in a magical garden, where a talking snake convinced her to eat a forbidden apple. To show our thanks for this sacrifice, we should put special crackers and wine in our mouths, where they will be magically transformed into his flesh and blood, which we should then swallow despite taboos regarding cannibalism. If you don’t believe all the preceding items, then after you die you will be plunged into a lake of fire and tortured for all eternity. If you do believe all the preceding items, then after you die you’ll get to go to heaven, which is a cloud in outer space connected to the earth with a dotted line.
Posted on: Fri, 05 Jul 2013 13:02:07 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015