Now I get to write and about my experiences from this weekend, I am surprised I am not still sleep because I am tried, but a good tired. All my life I a have fought with knowing that I can with and I can without, meaning that watching so much pain and degregation in my family and community life I thought that I would be another woman in my family that stopped living or even giving life a chance. If you know me you know what I am talking about. When I was a young girl and seeing my mother searching and looking for the voids in her life, but still trying to love me at the same time was inspiring to me, even though I still struggled with what she did not give me, but the love in her way was consistent and absorbed by me. From my pain with seeing all the women in my family mentally struggle and the men in my family non existent, I still held on to What If, What if I try so hard that God will see me and here me, What If I dream and then work at my dream and yes with little knowledge and education, but just enough to make it beyond what was the normal in my family, Forget the welfare, forget the public transportation, forget letting a men touch me that I barley know, forget not loving to my full potential, forget me not knowing how to have women in my life that I learn from and truly love. What if I took a leap of faith and did what that bible and Quran said and love God and people with all of me despite what i see. This year has shown me that I kept my question What If and am living it each and everyday since i was that 6 year old girl holding my mother hand in that high rise project with human poop on the floor of the elevator and the black man next to me smoking a crack pipe, I knew than that I would cling to anything that was good and right. I write this because I see what Gos is doing in my life right now. God has watched my read those scriptures and ayats so he allowed me to always remember him and walk in what he says to giving me a husband and children that falls inline when it is time to pray and act right when we go the wrong way , magazines of hope like Essence with Susan L. Taylor every day before I went to bed and went to school. Saturday I had the privilege and honor to meet, hug, laugh, eat, and be apart of her National Cares Mentoring Program for Black children like me. When I prayed that I will not see another black woman like me, my mom, my grandmother, my aunt stay broken, undereducated, under loved, undervalued in any way. God inspired me to start Natural Heart Sistah in 2011 to empower women of color. These words are real and true. Friday when I sat next to the soul fortifying and beautiful spirit Susan L. Taylor, Dr. Robin Smith, Andrea A Lawful- Trainer, Denise Parham James I Knew that Faith is real baby, Living and serving God and others is real. There is nothing that I can not do with those little words I said in my head as a child What if. I thought I could but the thought seemed faint. I am going to continue to fight the right fight for God and for my black people and I encourage whoever read this long teary eyed weekend and life story of mines, to never say Never as my beautiful sistah Glendora Bellamy said on Saturday at my husband Muhammad Shakur and I Sheena Moss Domestic and Community Violence Event yesterday. I am on a cloud of many, and I am staying here and claiming this cloud because it is well earned and fluffy with possibilities and blessings. Peace and love, Sheena Moss
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 14:54:35 +0000
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