Now that the Christmas rush is finally over I can properly introduce myself to any and all. My page is my baby. It was born from great pain and a life threatening way of thinking. I have suffered depression since the age of 11 years old that took me on an agonizing journey that left me suicidal in my twenties. By the grace of God Himself I made it through and have spent the last couple or so years of my life sharing the hard won lessons I have learned in the hopes of helping just one other soul make the choice to save their own life by seeing the truth of it... not just what they think it is. No, my journey did not end in my twenties and I can laugh about the mindset I had then because of what I have survived and overcome since. Homelessness with a two year old in tow for 2 years, the deaths of my dad, my brother-in-law who was murdered a couple of blocks from my moms 2 days before Christmas leaving my sister to raise 2 beautiful little girls alone, my step-daughter from an overdose of heroin, my brother, and my sister in January of 2014 after having had brain surgery about a decade before that she wasnt supposed to survive, my own near death when I gave birth to my son after a miscarriage 2 years before that, among lifes other traumas that we all tend to face. But would I have been able to make it through what the last couple of decades have thrown at me if I hadnt of walked that path that nearly ended me? Thats the question... isnt it?! I have journeyed through the fires of Hell itself to be tempered like steel and find my way into becoming the soul I was born to become. Its been a hard journey just to be heard here on FB, cause most souls run the other way as fast as they can if you mention the word suicide to them. Its amazing how many refuse to see that this disease can be controlled with a certain way of thinking, dietary needs that are unique to them and a loving support of family and friends that take the time to understand.... most that suffer have hearts that break at the least little cut that is intentional or not. We are 98% pure emotion in a world that has simply forgotten that the heart is a fragile thing that needs the extra special TLC. We believe what we are told and our own mindset works to undermine us and it becomes a battle for our very soul (that special commodity that makes us uniquely who we are) I am big on making people stop and think in a world that doesnt know how to pay attention to the little things. See... its never the big things that get you... it is all of the little things in life that no one takes the time to maintain and understand. The feelings of inadequacy, the self-imposed guilt trips for believing that you are not good enough, the over active responsibility mechanism that makes us take on more than we can really handle that is really someones elses to take care of, the poor self-image and lack of confidence is mostly a result of our own way of seeing ourselves in relation to the world around us. Most of what gets us is... seeing what we think is there or what we want to be there and missing what is really there. And yes ... Im also long winded. lol In real life you would be lucky to get me to say 2 words in a room full of people, but I have found that I can so easily express myself through my fingers and letting FB help me voice the reality of the soul that lives inside of this shell of a body is a miracle to me. I have found that laughter is another miracle that helps me to live life free of all that tries to weigh me down. My motto Laugh... til you pee and share a giggle with a friend. Because laughter has the power to heal and to clean up the debris left over from any type of storm. Smooches hugs and giggles to you always and may you always be so happy that you giggle in your sleep! I hope we can be good friends on this road that we travel on.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 02:00:00 +0000