Now that youre gone I remember several years back, i was in 2nd year medical school. I met my boyfriend of almost 6years. He was my fitness instructor. I was really happy. Hes so sweet, hes so adorable. Ive never felt so loved before. Everything seems very fine, until after 2 months, something happened. One ordinary weekend, as I was about to call him, his phone was shut off. I was wonderin why. Phone off for 2 days. What the hell is going? I have this feeling that something is wrong. Friendster. Yan pa uso dati. I checked his account, I saw a picture of a boy. And I was right. Something is going on.. But I want it to hear from him, straight from him. Yup, Ive found out hes married. I felt like I was about to die. Forbidden love it is. Pero pagibig nga naman.. Tinanggap ko pa rin. I dont care about what other people will think, basta mahal ko siya. Yun lang. One day, He told me hes already separated. Matagal na pala sila hindi nagkakasundo. And believe it or not, naging magkaibigan pa kami ng wife niya. We even went out with his son, with his wifes consent. Masarap sa pakiramdam. Parang walang problema. Everything went out so well. Were both happy and satisfied. Yun nga lang, langit ako.. At lupa sya.. He dont have enough para sa annulment. So kailangang tiisin. Imagine. I was still a student. At naging kabit na ako. And the worst is, medical student pa. I graduated from medical school. I passed the physicians licensure exam. Kami pa rin. Tinatago ko sa lahat na hes married. But now that Im more mature, ganun pala yun, you will think about your future. Hindi lang puro pagmamahal. Iisipin mo na pala yung career mo, what will happen kung siya nakatuluyan mo, etc. So in short, ginamitan ko ng utak.. Last January, Ive met someone I have known since I was a child, but never got the chance to talk. Hes in Europe, working as an Engineer. Hes a friend of my first cousin. Inentertain ko, I enjoyed chatting with him. I was still in a relationship that time, pero sige, tuloy lang ang chat and text. Until last march, he went home in the Philippines. We met, we exchanged numbers, we went out. We became good friends. And I thought Im falling. Me and my then bf, went cold. I seldom text him. I seldom call him. Until my bf and I talked. He was crying because he felt like I dont love him anymore. I broke up with him. With all the other reasons in mind. I cannot marry him PLUS im already in love with someone else. I know hes hurt. Pero nagpaka-bato ako. Pinili ko pa rin yung bago. Bitter pa rin siya, now my ex.. Hes texting me everyday. Ready daw sya patawarin ako dahil mahal niya ako. Araw araw nia ko knukulit, never failing to say how much he loves me. I ignored. Kasi masaya ako sa iba. Until one day, the new guy I met was set to go back to his work overseas. Hindi naging kami. We went out, madalas magkatext at magkausap. We often show how much we care for each other. Pero hindi naging malinaw kung ano an meron sa amin. Hanggang sa nakaalis na sya. Malabo pa din.. Tiniis ko. Naghihintay. We communicated thru viber. He still calls me thru viber. Si ex naman, nagiging madalang na lang yung text. Wala pa rin akong pakialam.. Until one day, pakiramdam ko, wala nang pakialam sakin si new guy. Hes replying, but I think the excitement was gone.. I bursted out. Nagalit ako.. At ang mabigat pa dyan, inamin ko sa kanya na I am falling. Yun pala. Nafriendzone ako. Were just friends lang pala. Ang saket. Feeling ko, nakarma ako sa ginawa ko sa ex ko. I was depressed. Crying. Our communication had stopped. Wala na. That was the time I have realized, I should have never let my ex go.. Kasi siya lang naman ang totoong nagmahal sakin.. Yun nga lang, hes married. Pero I remember him saying: Wala pa akong pera sa ngayon, Pero kapag nakaipon na ko, i fafile ko agad ang annulment ko. Mahal kita.. Pakakasalan kita. Maaaring hindi ngayon, pero balang arAw Naiines kasi ko. Ayokong ikasal kung kelan matanda na ako. Pinakawalan ko sya sa pagaakalang mas sasaya ako sa iba dahil sa bagay na hindi niya mabigay saken: marriage. Last sunday, I tried to talk with my ex.. I stooped down. I apologized. I cried. I begged. Mahal ko pa rin sya.. At alam ko na mali ako. This was his response: Napatawad na kita. Oo, mahal pa rin kita. Pero natanggap ko na na hindi mo na ako mahal. Kaya pinilit ko sarile ko magmahal din ng iba. Ngaun, nahanap ko na sya. Masaya na ako sa kanya May gf na pala siyang iba. Napagod na pala sya sa paghintay saken, dahil kahit ano gawin niya, ayoko na daw siya piliin nun. Now i am left with no one. And Im alone. Narealize ko. Minsan, mahirap pala mag take ng risk. Kung sana hindi ko siya binitawan, baka masaya pa rin ako hanggang ngaun :( College of science Somewhere in 2000s
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 15:29:00 +0000
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