O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night. Because you are my helper, I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings. I cling to you; your strong right hand holds me securely. But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin. They will go down into the depths of the earth. They will die by the sword and become the food of jackals. But the king will rejoice in God. All who trust in him will praise him, while liars will be silenced. Psalms 63 Joshua looks to be praising God as he is resting. Dont think thats an absurd thought. God gave me his name several months before he was even conceived. And I strongly remember the vision I had in the Cincinnatti hospital where angels were lining his room and one angel took a step forward and kissed Joshua on the forehead. Ive tried to question that vision, but it was just too real. I wish I knew all that Joshua has seen. And did you notice, Joshua has a new hairdo. Jill held him steady while I trimmed him up. He did well. I think he looks a lot like Logan did after his first haircut. We have much to praise God for, even though we are busy getting ready for the move. We have met so many nice people during this transition. Everything would have been a lot more difficult without the caring acts of others... and this is coming from someone who never asked for help before. Id still prefer to be on the giving side rather than receiving, but maybe this experience will help me have better ideas of ways I can help others. I used to say I wish I knew what to do to help, but hopefully Ill have some ideas in the future. My son is growing and learning. His arms are stretched out, which is a huge change since he coded and was very tightly drawn up. Even since he was released from the hospital, Joshua has been stretching a lot more the past few days. These are all very big changes, though with my other children I took all of it for granted. God has really been working on this Dad. I didnt realize I was so careless with life. I still have much to learn, but at least Im become aware of where I am, and that its okay not to be the perfect Dad. Instead of becoming extremely frustrated with my imperfections, Jill has made it easy for me to recognize and admit that I need help. This is a new lesson for me and something that is out of character. My wife is kind and understanding. She doesnt judge me harshly, like I probably would have done. Instead she listens and lets me know the frustrations are okay, that I dont have to be perfect, and that I should just relax and enjoy being a Dad. Im slowly starting to see that. Im probably the only one this hard headed. I wish I had learned this when Joshua was still in the hospital. I just couldnt get relaxed at any point in those months at the hospital. I was super critical. To all nurses and doctors who are still following Joshua, I am very sorry. I was so uptight. To anyone with a child or loved one currently in the hospital, please learn from my mistakes. Everyone is human and we all have some sort of flaws. If a nurse or doctor is trying to help, then let their heart continue. Appreciate those who truly care. So today we praise God for His compassion and His faithfulness. We definitely would not be where we are without God. Without God, my son would have died. Yes I know he coded for 24 very long minutes, but he is alive today (thank you Nurse D for doing the chest compressions). And he is growing mentally and physically. God works miracles, and sometimes He does them in stages for our benefit, so that we have time to learn and develop. This whole experience is life changing. God works all things to the good of those who love Him. Note that the scripture doesnt say to those who are perfect. Thank God for His love to those of us who are not perfect and His patience as He teaches us major life lessons. To God be all of the glory, forever and ever. Amen!
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 11:22:07 +0000
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