OBAMA FLOWERS > (Receptionist) Hello, Welcome to ObamaFlowers. My name is Trina. How can I help you? > > > (Customer) Hello, I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number. > > (Receptionist) Yes, I am sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you. > > (Customer) Thanks, I ordered a Spring Bouquet for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wifes work.. > > (Receptionist Interrupting) Sir, Spring Bouquets do not meet our minimum standards, I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses. > > (Customer) But I have always ordered Spring Bouquets, done it for years, my wife likes them. > > (Receptionist) Roses are better, sir, I am sure your wife will love them. > > (Customer) Well, how much are they? > > (Receptionist) It depends sir, do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package. > > (Customer) Whats the difference? > > (Receptionist) The Bronze package is 12 red roses The Silver is 18. Gold, 24, and Platinum, 48 red roses. > > (Customer) The Silver package may be okay, how much is it? > > (Receptionist) It depends, sir. What is your monthly income? > > (Customer) What does that have to do with anything? > > (Receptionist) I need that to determine your government flower subsidy. Then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department. > > (Customer) FlowerAid? > > (Receptionist) Yes, Flowers are a right, everyone has a right to flowers. So, if you cant afford them, then the government will supply them free of charge. > > (Customer) Who said they were a right? > > (Receptionist) Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional. > > (Customer) Whoa.....I dont remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding flowers as a right. > > (Receptionist) It may not really be a right listed in the Constitution, but ObamaFlowers is constitutional because the Supreme Court ruled it to be a tax. Taxes are constitutional. But we feel it is a right. > > (Customer) I dont believe this.... > > (Receptionist) Its the law of the land, sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is you monthly income, sir? > > (Customer) Forget it. I think I will forego the flowers this year... > > (Receptionist) In that case, sir, I will still need your monthly income. > > (Customer) Why? > > (Receptionist) To determine what your non-participation cost will be. > > (Customer) WHAT???? Your cant charge me for NOT buying flowers!!! > > (Receptionist) Its the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. Its $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income. > > (Customer)interrupting) This is ridiculous. Ill pay the $9.50. > > (Receptionist) Sir, it is either $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater. > > (Customer) ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? What a ripoff!! > > (Receptionist) Actually, sir, it is a good deal. Next year it will be 2%. > > (Customer) Look, Im going to call my congressmember to find out whats going on here. This is ridiculous. Im not going to pay it. > > (Receptionist) Sorry to hear that, sir, thats why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone your are using. > > (Customer) Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING???? > > (Receptionist) So they get your GPS coordinates, sir. > > (Door Bell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door.) > > (Receptionist) That would be the IRS, sir. Thanks for calling ObamaFlowers. Have a nice day...and God Bless America . > ____________________ > > And so goes the Nation… > >
Posted on: Tue, 03 Dec 2013 23:07:17 +0000
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