OH SNAP, GIRLFRIEND !?! If you can say—and believe—the following statements, dont be taken in by all the foodie hype! ... I prefer bland, tasteless food. Taste buds are best kept lulled and complacent. I love factory-farmed meat, dairy, and eggs. All animals belong in little boxes. I love eating chemicals and pesticides. After all, if this stuff preserves food, it will preserve me, too? The goal of living in community is to be like all the other neighborhoods in the world. Wed all be happier if we were homogenous. Diversity is a killer. I love GMO. One day I might sport gills like a fish or raise glow-in-the-dark rabbits. Could anything be cooler? I hate my neighbors and I hope they all lose their jobs and have to move away. Small local businesses are nothing but a pain. I like being ignored by my growers. Why would I want better service and people paying attention to my needs? Someone trying to understand makes me uncomfortable. Ignorance is bliss. I need to protect my kids from knowledge, fun, and health at any cost. I love paying the middleman. Why should farmers get actual wages when we could support commodity traders instead? I demand every fruit or vegetable to be the same size and shape as the next one and absolutely blemish free. I live for confusing labels. They keep my mind active. I adore excessive packaging. If I didnt have so much plastic to get rid of, how would I ever fill my garbage bins? I prefer to limit choices. Boredom is good; creativity is evil. BUT WAIT, theres more
Posted on: Sat, 14 Jun 2014 20:49:14 +0000