OHMY!LYMPICS NEWS UPDATE! The First Winter Ohmy!lympic Gold Awarded! The Mysterious Past of Team ReadSkating Revealed Words of Wisdom from Arials Event Front-Runners Bonus Coverage: News Desk Currently Kicking Itself But first ... YAY!MAICANADIFFERENCE BOBSLEIGH TEAMS CONTINUE TO REGISTER: New Team ReadSkating consists of WENDY JOSEPH, ALICIA BUSHEY, BRIGETTE ANDERSON, and CASSANDRA MCDOWELL! Team ReadSkating joins these previously registered teams on the Yay!maicanadifference Bobsleigh track: *Team School Runnings (SOHO, MILY MOOC, AMY WOOD, DR T) *Team Victorious Secret (HOLLY AZEVEDO, LAUREN MONTE, KIM MOORE, ELLEN GOODMAN) *Team Classy Sassy Lassies (KINDERGARTENROCKS, ELLIE HENRY, LAURA BARTOLOMEO, ANNIE LIGHT) *Team 37 (37 PEOPLE, KYLE BIEDA, HARSHMAN BANDS). *Team CASYS ANGELS (CAROL COBB, AMY RODRIGUEZ, STEVEN INMAN, YVONNE COSME-MARTINEZ) FIRST WINTER OHMY!LYMPIC GOLD AWARDED EARLIER TODAY: According to Team ReadSkating, We are ready to WIN GOLD! And they mean it! Team ReadSkatings ALICIA BUSHEY won the first gold medal of the Winter Ohmy!lympics with her lightning-quick skate around the short track to help an elementary schools music project. (The project, Instruments For Our Music Classroom - Part 2, has just 7 days left until its funding deadline). BUSHEYs performance was so impressive that KINDERGARTENROCKS and ANNIE The Annihilator LIGHT of Team Classy Sassy Lassies could not help but exclaim, That was fast and REAL Fast!!! Unfortunately for BUSHEY, the fiercely competitive Classy Sassy Lassies will now be plotting ways (believe the News Desk when it says, They have ways!) to best this unsuspecting gold medalist in future events. THE MYSTERIOUS ORIGINS OF TEAM READSKATING REVEALED: The News Desks art critic has researched the genesis of this new teams name, which apparently is an homage to the once-popular but now almost forgotten painter of Elucidation Island ladies and knitwear, Reed Scating, RA. In much the same way that the band Lynyrd Skynyrds namesake was P.E. teacher Leonard Skinner, Team ReadSkating have slightly altered the spelling of Reed Scating. They are also, according to an unnamed source close to Team ReadSkating who overheard one of them singing loudly in the shower and banged on the door to get the singing to stop (not that it wasnt good, but Ohmy!lympians need their rest), planning to cover Free Bird at the Ohmy!lympic closing ceremony. Intensive research at the Elucidation Island National Library has revealed hitherto unknown details about the life and work of Scating, who travelled to Elucidation Island at the end of the 19th Century. (Readers of News Desk reports during the Ohmy!lympic Torch Run will recall the Torch Bearers numerous strange encounters with the amiable, but also often hopelessly lost, Elucidation Islanders.) Scatings contemporaries, painters like Gauguin and Matisse, were sailing to Tahiti, Bora Bora, and other exotic climes in search of new inspiration. But Scating was a maverick. By which we mean the wild horse, not the car. Sport-styled compact cars employing a rear wheel drive platform had not yet been invented in Scatings lifetime; while (while, not wild, though we also mean wild) horses, News Desks meticulous research shows, had been. Also, that was a metaphor; Scating was not actually a wild horse or a compact car, but rather a late-Victorian/early 20th century artist of the human variety. So, to continue with this fascinating biography, Scating set out in a different direction with his trusty brushes, tubes of paint, and an easel that doubled as a tent post (because hed spent quite a lot on the trusty brushes and tubes of paint, not to mention his ticket, and couldnt afford a hotel room). Arriving on Elucidation Island at last, Scating very quickly learned that his dreams of painting scantily clad ladies on the beach (which hed assumed would be readily available on an island) were hopelessly unrealistic. Hed arrived on Elucidation Island in the midst of their typically snowy winter, and all the ladies were wearing big sweaters. These were, however, elaborately decorated sweaters, which Scating found rather interesting. So, ever resourceful and having invested a lot in trusty brushes and tubes of paint, not to mention an exceptionally useful easel, Scating dedicated himself to painting Elucidation Islands people and celebrating their crafts. And though Scatings work is no longer well known beyond Elucidation Island (so many geniuses in their time are forgotten now), we still find rich evidence of his influence today. As was previously reported by the News Desk, American sportwear designer Ralph Lauren inherited traditional Elucidation Island knitting patterns through the matrilineal line of the Lauren family. The News Desk art critic has now discovered that Laurens Elucidation Island ancestress was, in fact, Reed Scatings favourite human model. Another exciting revelation that will rock the knitting world is that, in addition to inheriting the patterns, Lauren also inherited a large Scating portrait that shows Laurens ancestress in a garment bearing an uncanny resemblance to One of Ralph Laurens Sweaters. As faithful Ohmy!lympic followers and News Desk readers will be aware, One of Ralph Laurens Sweaters has recently joined forces with The 4th Edition of Roberts Rules of Order in an attempt to persuade the Ohmy!lympic Secretariat that they are, indeed, eligible for the Alpo Skiing Event, which is restricted to non-human life forms. There is now speculation that this heart-warming (it is a story about sweaters, after all) story of Reed Scatings portrait of his two Elucidation Island muses -- Laurens ancestress and One of Ralph Laurens Sweaterss distant but nonetheless close-knit family members -- will perhaps sway the Secretariat. Only time and the News Desk will tell. WORDS OF WISDOM FROM ARIALS EVENT FRONT-RUNNERS: This event is shaping up to be a real war of words, and many of the words are very wise! Consider these from reptilian Ohmy!lympian JOJO THE LEOPARD GECKO: Coming through on all fours to help #TeamSchoolRunnings in the Winter Ohmy!lympics! Yay!maicanmakeadifference bobsleigh race! In this race the winners are you! And your students! Best of luck! Not to be outdone by a small tropical or subtropical nocturnal insect-eating lizard, Human Ohmy!lympian HOLLY THORWARTH composed this ode to the Ohmy!lympics: With all the teams in the OhMy!lympics, which should I choose? Should it be Classy Sassy Lassies who are on the rise? Or is Corys Angels where victory lies? Maybe its Victorious Secret and their battle cries? But what about #37 people, maybe its those guys? Oh which will I choose, which will it be? None other than SCHOOL RUNNINGS will be for me! Judging this event is going to be very difficult, indeed! NEWS DESK CURRENTLY KICKING ITSELF: Because it missed an opportunity to allude to PETER and the Woof (woof woof, woof, woof) in its previous update on the Alpo Skiing Event! Ah, well! Next time! :D Will Team ReadSkating stop rehearsing Free Bird and let everyone get some sleep before tomorrows competition? Will the News Desks art critic file more succinct reports in the future, please? We dont have all day to sit around reading about Elucidation Island art, you know. And, most importantly, how will the Ohmy!lympic Village react to tomorrows News Desk expose of Team Classy Sassy Lassies and their nefarious tactics? Stay tuned! Also, THANK YOU ALL for making the first weekend of the Ohmy!lympics such a fantastic success for classrooms and schools, teachers and students. What a wonderful job you have done!!!
Posted on: Mon, 10 Feb 2014 03:45:05 +0000
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