OK, I went back and tweaked, I post to here because that way I see it, it reminds me I am accountable, so I am also sure it can do the same to others. That is all I have to say about that! Lol love u guys! Excerpt: I dont how to begin so I will just do it the way most choose to, at the beggining. My name is Mary and I have walked through all types of hell and I am somehow still whole. Dont get me wrong I was not always whole. I was not always a lot of things. The fact that I am even able to be slightly coherent is a miracle of epic proportions but that is another story.. I always knew I needed help but didnt fret too much,Because I was told where I could go and what I should walk toward. my mother used to keep a picture in the bedroom of what I now recognize as footprints in the sand. I used to stare at it as I drifted of to sleep when I felt safe and warm. I suppose that I rember this so clearly because this was a special occasion type of thing. It also makes sense I would choose to go there in my imagenings of something better than what was real. Turns out it was a real place. I have come to the conclusion that I could not possibly be making any of this up cause when I was made this promise I was naught but about three. Yup I, was told this by a very nice young man with curly hair a beard and sandles. three year olds just dont lie. any one who has kids knows this. Ill give an example I struggled to get up from a low couch one day and my tori was in a hurry so she says in a three year old voice for everybody hold up we have to wait, she looks at her brothers and says its cause shes fat So with that said I have learned to listen to myself And I am not that fat anymore soooo. Over the years I have learned much and have worn many hats. If I were to be called anything I am going to be called adaptive, I wonder if I should change my name to that someday? some of these hats were imposed by self or other. I am stubborn which made me wear my hat proudly even if it made me look or smell bad. I did not worry too much about it cause the hat I have chosen to wear might have been pretty discriptive of how desperate I may or may not have been feeling. I would like to speak of one such hat. The whore hat This woman I see in the mirror still looks larger than life to me in the reflection,so I dont pay much attention to that, what I tend to search earnestly and completely Is my eyes. I look to see if I could look myself in the eye (or behind my eyes cause I seem to have lost my brain somewhere, depending on the situation). in a not too distant past I was doing one of my celibacy runs when my then girlfriend starts pressuring me to go meet some friends Of hers. I put it off for weeks. I could in not put it off any longer she pulled The bad friend card, the irony is she turned out to be the bad friend. long story short I made a couple of acquaintances and one something much more. There was a time that this person became a bit distant from me. I prayed about it cause I had the impression that something was very wrong. it was. I introduced one of the young women I had once worked with to one of the what I saw as as hardworking responsible young men. I figured if anything they can both make a new friend, well my beautiful young friend also had a fiery temper and a mouth to match. This young guy came at my friend pretty disrespectfully and well she responded accordingly, truth be told I would have done similar if not the same. boy (first conversation btw): . hi my name is x. Do you want to hump?(not the word used) Girl: (big pause), well since you are coming at me like one Im going to respond, and ask how much we talking about?... suffice it to say, it was not a match. Unfortunately my young beautiful friend did not think of the impact of her words. She also did not know that the majority of those bored hard working men had the propensity to gossip more than the niehborhood grocery store long line. Well this is how I briefly became the binghamton Madame.
Posted on: Sat, 20 Dec 2014 16:01:22 +0000