OK UPDATE TIME!!!! 11/19/14 Going on week 2 of being home...have had highs and lows...don’t we all though lol While at the facility in Vallejo I had therapy 6x day 7 days a week. my body was learning and figuring things out pretty good...guess what happens when you go home and your not going as much :/ By day 2 my legs were cramping up so I would walk with the walker for support then it would get better. Over the last 4-5 days there has been quite the decline in speech and leg strength. Some days my sensory sensitivity has been great and days like this morning just hearing the sound of my husband tucking in his shirt made me start to twitch and jerk. Today I woke up stuttering badly with my knees buckling and my hair all crazy like a lion lol NOT TODAY I told myself...this regression ends today! What I have decided is to make a schedule like I had in Vallejo complete with walking, memory games, reading out loud, and most important I NEED to see my horses every day. I used to retain information well but not anymore… I took a shower, did my hair best I could thanks to Liz for cutting it, got my sparkle butt jeans on, thanks mom for doing my laundry, put my make up on, thank you lord for giving me a steady hand and not poking myself in the eye with mascara like last time lol!!! (all we can do is laugh at stuff like that!) THEN MEAGAN CAME TO KIDNAP ME!!! She grabbed my blankets and headphone while mom helped me to the top of the stairs. Dad stood in front of me as I watched his feet move down the stairs so mine would follow. Dad helped me find my shoes, go down more steps outside and into the ranger....SUCCESS!!! Meagan was kind enough to let me mess up her stall cleaning routine (which she has been doing for 3 months due to the accident) and take me to the barn to see the horses I haven’t been able to see since I got home. She helped me up on the bench, turned the horses out and talk about peace...finally I could see smell and touch my beautiful horses. The stutter calmed, legs relaxed and took in a nice deep breath of barn air..you know what air im talking about lol I knew I wouldn’t last long at the barn as my arms and legs have been going numb but what a blessing these majestic animals are to us...a gift from above. It started to rain so Meagan helped me down but I wanted and needed to spend a few minutes with Angel, the horse I had the accident on. I trained Angel. She is one of the most amazing beautiful born broke horses with a personality that is hard to find. She is also a baby though....4 years old last April. Many have asked if I am afraid of her or if I will ever ride again or much less ride her. My answer every time is absolutely I will, amazing calm horse or not horses are horses and prey animals Angel had her own emotional setback as her new owner was having a hard time dealing with the accident and changed most of what angel knew in way of how she was treated, exercised, handled etc...her new mom was afraid as well as tip toeing around as to not frighten her and angel knew it looking around for what was so scary and started getting jumpy here and there. Some horses are tough as nails and others are as sensitive as a feather in the wind...this is one of the sensitive horses that looks to her handler for reassurance and always wants to please...she is a baby...was not a spooky horse in the past but horses are flight animals. She was one of those born broke horses. My non horsey husband rode her, both my kids rode her, I ponied other horses off her with no problems at all. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW! I love this horse. Sadly after the accident her new mom couldn’t get past what happened and asked if I would take her back. She loved this horse but insisted I take her back...first I said no because she loves that horse and it was an emotional decision...she was adamant she was done with horses so I said I would take her back feeling at some point she would hopefully be back for her. 3 weeks later she asked for her back. I let her take her back as I knew she was in a very emotional place and trying to figure things out. Angel was moved to another facility as her owner felt if she was in another place she could get past the accident and rebond with her horse...unfortunately that did not happen. I received a message asking forgiveness for hurt feelings, I am human...words can be forgiven but not forgotten. I was asked for help as she was now more afraid of angel and angel was spooking at everything....that broke my heart...I was still in Vallejo...I needed time to heal both physically and now mentally from hurtful words...next thing I knew Angel was back at my barn, papers dropped off and I was asked to put her in my name ASAP....THE END I think I am still in a bit of shock and confusion over how it all unfolded... You might be wondering why I am telling this story. I would like to ask those of you who believe in the power of prayer to offer one for this person who was struggling much more than I have in this situation. I have not spoken or heard from this person in a few weeks (since the horse and papers were dropped off while I was still in vallejo) and I am not sure how she is now but I hope for the very best and pray she gets peace at some point. As for Angel I was happy to have her back as she is such a sensitive horse that does not yet have the maturity of an aged horse which I had an unbreakable bond with. She settled down after a few days for all those handling her here. Back to being a quiet little mouse and following people like a puppy dog. Today was my day to have a few moments with her. While I love this horse I am also sad for the person that gave her up. Sad she gave up on her dream and love of horses because of something that was an accident. Please remember these horses we are blessed to have love and enjoy do it willingly. They look to us for safety, stability, love and care in every sense of the word. Treat them with the respect we expect from our children, friends and family...these animals are all of those to us and allow us to put a metal bar in their mouth, equipment on their back, strap around their belly, a creature on their back...going against all natural instinct of being a pray animal. Love and respect them...they have good days as well as bad days just as we do so next time your horse spooks at something we think is silly...remember all they do and fear they deal with as a prey animal just so we can ride... give them a little bit of slack and give them love and reassurance instilling confidence instead of frustration and heavy hands giving them fear. Once again sorry for the long winded message lol…just kept flowing out of my fingers on the keyboard! Below are a few pictures of my first trip to the barn (a whole 662 feet from my house) She sniffed me all over then put her head in my lap...xoxoxo
Posted on: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 22:11:50 +0000
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