OMG, I LOOOOOOVE THESE SPAM EMAILS!! Attention: Beneficiary. (That would be me?) Subject: TRANSFER OF US$10 MILLION TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. (Whooo hoo! Lets do this!) We are writhing (writhing? This is starting off just a little too snakey for me) to know if its true that you are DEAD? (WHAT? Ive been called brain dead, but never just dead.) Because we received a notification from one MR. GERSHON SHAPIRO from USA stating that you are DEAD and that you have giving him the right to claim your funds. (Gershon? What kind of name is Gershon? Oh yeah, me and ol Gersh go wayyyy back. I think I may have dated him... Hell of a juggler that Gershon. One time, he was juggling these three hamsters... but I digress...) He stated you died in a CAR accident. (Why is car capitalized? And why does he keep capitalizing DEAD? Its a little disconcerting!) He has been calling us regarding this issue, but we cannot proceed with him until we confirm this by hearing from you after 7days. (Ok. Wait. You want to know within 7 days if Im DEAD? If you dont hear from me, do you assume that Im ALIVE? And, if Im DEAD, do I have to hire a medium to make my said phone call to you? And if so, exactly how do I do this? DETAILS MAN, DETAILS!) Be advised that we have made all arrangements for you to receive and confirm your funds without anymore stress, and without any further delays. (So if Im dead, I still receive said $10 million? No further delays? You delayed it so stinking long, I DIED! This is getting better and better!) All we need to confirm now is to know if you are DEAD Or still Alive. (Again with the DEAD. Youre creeping me out!) Because this MANS message brought shock to our minds. (Im sure it did since were such close, personal friends.) And we just cant proceed with him until we confirm if this is a reality OR not. (Oh, I can understand how your reality may be a little off center.) But if it happened we did not hear from you after 7days,then we say:MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PERFECT PEACE YOUR JOY AND SUCCESS REMAINS OUR GOAL. (WAIT A MINUTE! If Im DEAD, you want me to rest in peace, but yet be joyful and successful? Dude, DROP THE CRACK PIPE! What? Are you running for office?) May the peace of the Lord be with you wherever you may be now. (Thank you. Im right here.) Your Faitfully,n (FAITFULLY? Now Im scared.) mr.mark Edward (Didnt he play Dr. Green on E.R.?)
Posted on: Wed, 05 Mar 2014 02:46:47 +0000
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