ON BEING CLUELESS It can be exciting to be clueless.At least make people believe I am clueless.I will enjoy many advantages: 1) I can make the world believe that I cannot rig any election! 2)I can go to settle another country`s problems,and leave those at home;I`ll wear dark suit to the place. 3)I can say that Boko Haram does not exist:for those who say it exists,I can tell them that it will go away as it came,it is a passing phase in our national life. 4)For those who believe Boko Haram exists,I shall assemble 1000 pastors to go through the motion of “prayer” to calm frayed nerves! 5)I shall,through my attack dogs,let people know that if not for my negotiating dexterity,the Chibok girls would have been 300,so the nation owes me an apology. 6)Anybody who is so unpatriotic as to ask me to declare my asset shall be met with that profoundly philosophical statement of wisdom,`I don`t give a damn!` 7)2015 election must be won,afterall only one part of the country has been seized by the faceless Boko Haram whose single leader has been killed 3 or 4 times, resulting in our negotiation of the ceasefire agreement keeping the whole nation in perfect peace,only a few have been mistakenly killed by just a few suicide bombers. 8)Money will do it all for me:N.Delta boys,Chibok girls`parents,buyable clergymen/women of all religions,buyable intellectuals,etc;the only problem will be this Shekau who refused to take money,ooooo! 9)I will like to take the oath of office for the third time,and call it second term. 10)I shall enjoy continental rating,from unpatriotic people as the 6th Richest, our compatriots` rating shall be the 1st Richest,because there is no poverty anywhere. Being clueless has its own advantages!
Posted on: Sat, 08 Nov 2014 21:17:53 +0000
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