OPEN LETTER TO MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND/WIFE TO BE. After runs of twenty years plus, I recently joined the SERIOUS SEARCHING SINGLE CLUB, which is something for you to be excited about. Considering the time I have spent in relationships of different kinds, I believe I need, at least, a six month hiatus(gap) to properly grieve&heal, I always wonder how or when we’ll meet. Or if fate has been playing tricks on me and have i always known you and I’m just too blind and/or stupid to notice. Whatever the case may be, I just want you to know that wherever the hell you are, I’m kinda sorta (not-so) patiently waiting for you. But before we date, I think it’s fair for you to know who you’ll be dating. 1. I TALK A LOT. Most times, I will talk about things that might not interest you. Please feel free to butt in. I’d love that. Ask me things. Answer my questions, I have lots. Know that I also talk about the most nonsensical stuff. Just try and pretend to be interested, okay? I probably just want to keep you talking and hear your voice. I promise I will always listen to what you’re gonna say no matter how boring it is. Oh, and “uninteresting” and “stupid” are not the same, okay, so please be intelligently nonsensical. 2. I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC. Blame all the years of singlehood. I could stay in your place and watch DVD’s with you. You might get distracted because I will play with your hair, sniff you everywhere, and be busy memorizing your anatomy. Yes, I will do that instead of watching the movie. Please oblige when I ask you to hug me. I like hugs. Hugs are magical. Don’t get mad if I take candid photos of you. I will just store it in my phone, stare at it and melt. No biggie. I also am gonna want to do cute and nice things for you because I like you. I’m gonna buy things for you that you probably won’t need because I feel like it. I’m thoughtful that way. Don’t feel obligated to buy me things back. I’m just being romantic is all. I might gonna try to cook for you and I want you to be honest on how it tastes. That’ll decide if I should cook again or not. But I probably will cook anyway. Oh, don’t hesitate to do cute things for me too, okay? 3. I HAVE MY OWN LIFE and am aware that you have yours too. I know we aren’t always gonna be together physically but that doesn’t mean we have to text/call each other all the time. I’m not saying don’t text me at all. It’s okay to check on me every once in a while because I will do that on you, too because I care for you. Just don’t do it every minute. 4. I CAN BE SHORT-TEMPERED SOMETIMES. I’m not expecting this relationship to be all heaven on earth. We’ll have rough times, too. Usually it’ll be about something dumb that probably won’t even matter the next day. But regardless how serious our argument is, never walk away mad. I never wanna stay upset with you, or you with me even for a day. If you ever feel like you’ve screwed it up beyond repair, let me take my time alone then wake me up in the morning singing either “Wake Me Up” or “Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran outside my window. I promise to give you the best morning kiss ever —with my morning breath, just-got-out- of-bed look, and all. Well.what it is that I expect from you. 1.PERSONALITY: You dont have to be a SAINT; for the simple reason that I am a CHRISTIAN - I prefer our saints dead. Neither do you have to be a Lady Gaga, because then I will be content just watching you do crazy stuff and amaze me with your impressiveness . So, I will settle for a cross between Mother Teresa and Lady Gaga.(beside i no be fire wood i don dey game for years) 2.APPEARANCE:Hourglass, pear, 8, 1, 9, or whatever other shape there is, to me it does not matter. Just be CUTE to make others turn their necks! That is not much for a man to ask, is it? At least I am not being particular about the hair, which - by the way - has to be neat and clean, always. 3.INTELLIGENCE is over-rated: All you need to win me over is the ability to recite the alphabets, count in multiples of seven up to 343, and differentiate your trousers from mine. But above all (and on this there is no over-look or failure to be seen from you), you have to be able to calculate your SAFE DAYS!(the man might want to feel good you know am not a wood) 4.VOICE: Your voice should be intimidating and soothing at the same time - something like a cocktail of beer and honey(hmmm like off key at times). You should be able to say to people you are stupid and have them enjoy hearing it. So much that they just want you to keep saying it; you are stupid, you are stupid, you are stupid.... 5. SENSE OF HUMOR: Girls like a man who can make them laugh. Well, guess what, i laugh too! But to be fair, if you demand humor from me I expect you to be witty enough to get it. Test yourself on Kingo; if you dont get Kingo, you definitely wont make the bar. 6.FASHION: You ought have enough sense of fashion for the both of us. Because (other than I needing a hand in that department) what girls may lack in appearance, they can always make up for with fashion and style. 7.MUSIC: Lose your DAVIDO,OLAMIDE&LIL WAYNE collection.because no more gobe, first of all rambo is not a learner neither am i! &we aint at war !get your emotion turned ON with more of Ed sheeran Enrique Igelasis and Don Williams because am going to KISS YOU,be your HERO and MISS YOU when we are apart 8.TELEVISION:am a prison break watching person, game of throne,liking person,vampire dairy watching and al movie that is semi-reality person(inshort i love all strategy movies) and hmmm movie is not movie without your hair between my fingers and your lovely cheek on my tiny little chest.beside weekend television watching wil further strong our relationship bond because every weekend there is 90minutes entertainment which i cheers the manchesters,the argument after wards is such a hilarious due to words like yaya toure owns man.city&barcelona is the best club. hey future girlfriend/wife to be,his Just a player there not the arab money&why has barcelona not lift champions league trophy for two seasons now. Most of all, before we date, know that you’re also about to date my imperfections and my insecurities; my constant need to feel appreciated and anxiety on what other people think of me. You are about to date someone that has no idea about dating thus trying out crazy things that he thinks may help in the relationship; someone who had been doubting if he’ll ever be loved; someone who had been waiting. But you are also about to date the way I smile whenever I see you; the way I always want you near; the way I long for you whenever we’re apart; the way I text you in the morning about how i want your kiss and wish you a nice day ahead; the way I blush, and get so excited whenever people ask me about you and how I stutter while telling them. Before we date, I only ask four things: 1. When you hold me, hold me like you don’t wanna let go. 2. When you kiss me, kiss me like you’ve waited all your life to taste these lips of mine. 3. If you love me, love me like it’s the only thing you ever wanna do. 4.better be independent(meaning get a job because i dont want to add more expenses to the ones i got now. remember someone paid to get me educated how to be civilise and get me where i am now so i got to be economical (at least you know waiting nigeria&global economic plunge has done)so Fine line is drawn between luxury and necessity)if you like call me asene Wenger sincerely. If intrested, pls comment PLEASURE IS MINE. I rep ## Donna Jays ##
Posted on: Fri, 22 Nov 2013 20:44:51 +0000
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