OPEN LETTER TO MY FUTURE WIFE. No 4, 419 street, Pen Cinema , Agege,USA 15-01-2015. Dear Future Wife, I hope you are good today, and you havent dated any boy yet. Things have been really difficult since the past few weeks, so I havent gotten the chance to meet you in the dream world. My purpose of creating this letter is because the world is turning upside down, all the girls in my area at least have a baby and they do alot of bad things I dont even know if you are from Africa, Asia, America or Europe; but I dont want you to come from Nigeria cuz Ive broken alot of hearts and those girls would want to ruin our wedding. Well if you are a Nigerian, dont be an -Igbo girl cuz I dont like the idea of buying 50,000 litres of Palm-wine and 1million tubers of yam and making your younger brother my P.A , I like their foods though. Dont be a -Yoruba girl cuz I hate lazy people and those that would take Lacasera bottles to parties, so they could take served drinks home Hmm...I kinda like -Hausa girls, but your uncle might be a Boko Haram member , and I dont want an untimely death. -CALABAR, Hell No! you know what I mean!!! Dont come from India if you cant move your hips to Timayas UKWU nor sing confirm Fuji music and I dont really like Chinese girls cuz no be me go chop Alangba and noodles as breakfast! If you come from the U.S or Spain, you better learn how to pound Yam and cook confirm Egusi and ugu soups, or else, you go pack go your popsy house ni. -IJEBU, NO! I dont wanna die at age 50 even when I slap an old man -IBADAN, Hmm...I dont like Sikin (Chicken ), I like Turkey -IMO/ANAMBRA, dont cross my way, Im not an ATM Machine -LEKKI/AJAH, hmm...if your popsys wealth aint from blood money However, Lets leave your race aside, I just want you to be: -GODLY -BEAUTIFUL -INTELLIGENT -CREATIVE -EDUCATED -ENDOWED (Manchester United & Real Madrid) -CARING -LOVING -NOT TOO LIGHT NOR DARK....infact, dont be blacker than Beyoncé -YOU SHOULD HAVE CAT EYES AND LONG EBONY OR BLONDE HAIR -BE A BLEND OF KIM KARDASHIAN, BEYONCÉ, NICKI MINAJ, RIHANNA AND TYRA BANKS And still be decent! If you blend from MILEY CYRUS or LADY GAGA, just dont think of bringing your wèré in to my House. Your daddy must either be Bill Gates friend, DANGOTE or OBAMAS cousin or Mr. Mahmoud Mohieldin(Managing Director,World Bank)s P.A. Thats all for now! Hey, Dont even think that Im a Golddigger cuz Im using a Rolce Roylce and I live in my own Duplex at Nitel Island, just chilling in the United State of Agege right now And please remain single till I meet you!
Posted on: Thu, 15 Jan 2015 22:04:43 +0000
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