October Horror (31 Days Of Horror Movie Reviews) Day Nine: The Lords Of Salem (2012) (DISCLAIMER: This review is in no way designed to incite a love/hate comment battle among readers, as SO often happens online when it comes to the films of Rob Zombie. It is merely one man’s OPINION.) Ah, what might have been. That’s what goes through my mind each and every time I watch this movie (and I’ve watched it quite a few times). I saw it in theaters upon its original release (but had to drive an hour from home to find a theater that was actually showing it), and I went in hoping for the best. I left the theater, not sure how I felt about the movie, which is unusual for me; there were things I absolutely loved about it, and an equal amount of things I didn’t like at all. However, despite many reports to the contrary by most of the theater-going Zombie fans, I understood its storyline perfectly (to be honest, I’m not sure where all the claims of confusion are coming from). Let’s look at the story first: In modern-day Salem, Massachusetts, a 500 year old curse is coming to pass, ushering in the birth of the child of Satan. There are subplots concerning a modern coven of witches, the main character’s descent into another bout of drug addiction, and a concerned paranormal investigator determined to figure things out before it’s too late. Right. There’s a lot going on here. But, in essence, the first line of my description is the main story, and all you need to know going in. What’s good about The Lords of Salem is pretty damned good: Zombie—regardless of anyone’s opinion of his music or personality—has an excellent visual sense. His framing, lighting and use of angles and tracking shots are all top-notch. There are many set-pieces here that are visually striking, and a handful of jump-scares that are expertly staged. His intention was to create a slow-building 70’s style horror movie that took its time to get under your skin, and in that endeavor, I think he succeeded. There are long, lingering shots of empty hallways or flickering lights that (while testing the patience of some viewers) worked really well for me in building up a sense of dread. (It also helped immensely that he really filmed the exteriors for this one in Salem, MA, and just about every location is one that I’ve been to many times throughout the years.) Now, in the spirit of fairness, what’s BAD about The Lords of Salem is really bad. Zombie’s weakness, in my opinion, is his screenwriting and (especially) his dialogue. He’s very intent on having his characters sound like they’ve just stepped out of a Quentin Tarantino flick, but really, nobody but Tarantino can pull off that sort of dialogue and make it feel real. Zombie’s dialogue, filled with a constant stream of curses and swears, comes off as ridiculously artificial. I’m no prude, don’t take it that way, but the way people talk in his movies is extremely distracting and certainly doesn’t help very much in suspending a viewer’s disbelief. The second biggest problem I see here is that his insistence to cast his wife, Sherri Moon, as the main character was a mistake. I like Sherri just fine, but truly, the acting requirements of the main role in this movie are beyond her talent. It might have been an entirely different picture with a more experienced actress playing the main character. So, how do I summarize this hodge-podge of conflicting opinions? I’ll just say this: since I can’t even make up my own mind in regards to how I feel about this movie, I can’t honestly predict who might enjoy it and who might not. However, with all that being said, I CAN say it’s worth checking out, if only to analyze what works and what doesn’t. And…sigh…what might have been….. youtube/watch?v=BcC_mjxH5WI
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 14:42:53 +0000