October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. I made up my mind about a week ago to start posting some of my research and some of my journal entries. But I wasnt sure if I should wait until October or get a head start. After considering the amount of information and journal entries I have gathered, I best get started now! For those of you who have been faithful followers of my Facebook, you may already be aware that my daughter and I are Domestic Violence Survivors. Not just once, but twice. I went from one emotional, verbal, and physical abuser to another. The second one nearly destroyed me. In fact, I often refer to March 24th 2010 as the day I died. The shadows of those events will never leave my heart. To this day, over 4 years later, I am still haunted by the memories of old ghosts, plagued by questions that have no answers, and awoken nearly every night by images and feelings that have manifested into nightmares. I cannot change the past and I cannot help those who wont help themselves. I only have control over myself and how I choose to react. After wallowing in self pity longer than necessary, I chose to fix myself and to turn my negative experiences into something positive. Self reflection is hard. No, its MORE than hard. Its painful, its involved, its wearisome, its complicated, its distressing, and its an intricate process. If you do it right, self reflection will shatter the phony images you conjured up in your head of yourself, your family, your friends, your childhood, and your choices. I started and stopped my journey into my inner workings more than I care to admit. Until, one day, I chose to focus on progress instead of perfection. I will never be perfect, but my eyes are wide open. And, do you know what? I dont have to be perfect in order to raise awareness, I just need to be willing to share what I have discovered and share my experiences. Im sorry to say that old wounds never truly heal. The slightest word, a certain smell, and the wounds fester then bleed. But, you can learn how to properly stock your Emotional First Aid Kit. You can become an expert medic on the battlefield of volatile moods. You just have to want the peace and happiness you deserve more than you are afraid of it.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Sep 2014 20:32:58 +0000
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