Often in life we are faced with tasks which we dont want doing. It may be house work for some, going to work to make a living for others and still others might find themselves committed to a relationship they were not ready for. The more people have to do unwanted things the more chances are that they create unpleasant environment for themselves and others. If you hate the thing you do but have to do it nonetheless you have choice between hating the thing and accepting that the thing needs to be done. Either way you will do it. Doing it from place of hatred will develop hatred towards the self and others around you; doing it from the place of acceptance will create compassion towards the self and allows for opportunities finding a more suitable way of accomplishing the task. If you decide to accept the fact that your task has to be done start from recognising that your situation is a gift from life; this will help you to see it as a lesson in acceptance. Once this is achieved you are on the way to finding more appropriate solution to accomplishing your task. If for example you dont like doing housework your choice is to hire a housekeeper or find a way of making it less unpleasant. If former is your proposed solution you need to decide if you can afford to hire a housekeeper or a cleaner and if you feel comfortable with a stranger in your house. If you can’t afford one look for ways to increase your income; if you don’t feel comfortable check with yourself why and work through your insecurities. If you decide that you are going to do your housework by yourself for a while longer, then appropriate way to minimise the stress around it would be to clean after yourself as you go and do dusting, moping and vacuuming as it needs to be done. While you dust, mop and vacuum instead thinking the usual ‘Oh, how much I hate doing this!!’ think ‘how good that I made decision earlier to clean as I go so now I only have to spend 30 minutes on doing this stuff. I’ll talk to other family members during dinner about them taking responsibilities for their share.’ You may not have the most spotless house in the Universe but it will be tidy and pleasant to live in. If you don’t like going to work to make a living ask yourself what is the issue there? Is it the work you are doing or the fact that you have to work? If it is work which you are doing then you need to look closely at why you do what you don’t like and how you can change it. You may need to look for another job, transfer to a different department or enrol in to course to either up skill yourself or change your career. If you are not happy with going to work then your question to yourself is ‘do I have issue with taking on responsibility or do I have commitment issues?’ You can then go back to your early childhood environment and address your issue at its root. If you can’t find the root by yourself or it is painful or unpleasant to deal with on your own it is best to seek professional help. While at it you may want to enrol in to University to explore different career paths which you may not yet be aware off. It may be that you haven’t found what you like yet for a reason and you have to do the ‘wrong’ job to bring up the issues you needed to address before you can move on doing what you enjoy. Replace your thinking of ‘I can’t possibly do this one more day’ with ‘I am on my way to make changes in my environment, I finally found courage to leave this job or to change my career, or to start my own business’ or whatever you are doing. Remember that you stayed at that place for as long as you needed to bring up issues which needed to be addressed for you to move forward. If you find yourself in a committed relationship and you don’t like it talk to your partner openly but tactfully; it is not their fault you committed before your time. You may decide to seek professional help or terminate relationship. However if children are involved their well-being comes first. You may be afraid of responsibilities, not feeling mature enough to handle having family or you may have your own childhood unfinished business waiting to be resolved. In this case seek professional help for you personally and at a later stage consider couple and family counselling. Only end relationship if you have tried every form of professional help and you still feel not ready to have family. Talk to your partner and make suitable arrangements taking your children’s psychological, physical and material needs in to consideration. Rather than thinking ‘how could I do this to myself and my family, I don’t deserve happiness’ you can think ‘I am glad I can work on resolving this situation with minimum inconvenience to everyone concerned’. Remember that you are in this situation for your personal karmic reasons and so is everybody else involved, including your children. Just like you they have incarnated in this life to resolve their karma, pay and receive karmic debts, to learn and to grow. Doing what you don’t like may not bring more joy in to your everyday life; however you will learn the lesson of acceptance as well as practical tools in how to look for more suitable arrangements in order to accomplish your task instead of creating unpleasant environment for yourself and others to live in. Seeing every situation as an opportunity for learning and growth allows you to be open and be receptive to those opportunities as they come ~ Erishka Fridman-Catt of Craft The Life Which You Desire
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 03:22:39 +0000
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