Oh Blooming Heck!!! You may need to sit down before you read this.....Trying to water my plants before Colin got in from sea I quickly pulled the hose out to its full extent then adeptly attached the pole Finger on the trigger let watering commence. Nothing came through. I hadnt turned on the water. Hanging the pole over the fence so not to wet any unsuspecting soul I went to rectify the problem. I gave it full force and not only did the top of the tap break off in my hand and fall in the grate but the pole was facing directly at me and I got full blast. I tried to get out of the way but it was impossible and at last dripping wet I straddled a small garden bench to get my breath. It was at this moment Colin rang to say he wanted picking up and his crew running home to Filey. My blouse and hair were soaking but fortunately my trousers were dry and there wasnt time to get changed. By the time I reached Filey I needed the loo it was then I spied Tesco store. Its sure to have a toilet in I thought. I entered the store to see the toilets at the far end of the cash out tills and made my way to them. Once inside I discovered to my horror... Yes I had straddled the bench but it too had been soaked and my jeans back and front looked as if Id wet myself. I must get back to the car quickly I thought before anyone notices and thinks the worst. Taking a deep breath I made my way back past half of the check out tills when a young boy suddenly screamed Mummy mummy look at that lady she has wet herself. You shout at me for that Dont you mummy I love children but this one I could willingly have throttled. I heard titters and loud whispers and everyone seemed to stare. I felt the sweat trickle down my back but I finally got to my car and home. On arrival I went straight into the front room and removed my trousers then placed them on the boiler in the kitchen. I dont know if Colins look was a wistful one or a frightened one but I asked him not to let anyone in the front room as I only had a pair of briefs on and flimsy blouse. I lay on the settee still cringing at the out burst from the little boy when.... bang at the window. It was the window cleaner and he could see straight in. I jumped up to hide in the back room but his son was cleaning that window. There was no escape....Quickly I opened the kitchen door only to close it immediately. Colin was sat talking to a fisherman friend. I leaned tightly against the door leading into the kitchen.It was then I heard him say. Come through Ill get you a drink. No you wont I yelled. We have none. At last the window cleaner went and furtively I returned to the settee. Colins friend left then the door bell rang. It was the window cleaner for his money. I couldnt answer it. I darent answer it. All this time the hose had still been spewing out the water. No one could turn it off because I had broken the tap. The yard was flooded when a very kind gentleman waded in with a shifting spanner and sorted the problem. Ive been doing some serious thinking......Next year I think Ill give the hanging baskets and plants a miss.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Jul 2014 21:11:47 +0000
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