Oh damn life is getting harder, and doesnt seem to get better. - TopicsExpress

Oh damn life is getting harder, and doesnt seem to get better. Trying to get a head is not goin as planned, and that vacation was the start of it. Plus knowing that I want to move is getting harder to do. Money wise, and the living situation. It can be hard for me to let Brenda go, but it is harder for her. Having a life together, and to have it end with me driving away for the last time...will be a big heart breaker. Even though our lives have drifted apart, the love is still their. Plus me moving on to meet people in this area is goin to be hard too. Brenda told me that she is protective over me, and dont think that anybody is good for me. I told her that I didnt want anybody around here, and if I lived all my life around here...then never found the right one. I will never find the right one...last I checked Native Americans never are on any list on any dating sights around here. Plus its a band wagon around here, and got to meet the right crowed...or the in crowed. I have never been, or do I want to. Getting off track, and after this I am goin to career link to see about extra jobs in the area. Probably not, as usual. My skills only go so far, and not driving hurts that winter is on the way. I know that I shouldnt give up on my goal, but I may if I can advance in anything around here. Then I might go crazy, and continue on my conquest. So thats it for the day, and goin to be a very slow night at work tonight. I may get back tomorrow here at the library. So if Im not talking to anybody much for a while...you now what is on my mind, and seems to not go away. Fear, and sorrow turned into anger, and hopelessness on being stuck in this area forever. I tell jobs that I use to be into booze, and I have wised up. Telling the truth on how I use to be, and how I have better control of my life. The employers still dont hire, but hire a person who sugar coats their life. Maybe I should start lying, then I might find something. So long folks.

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