Oh my heart has broken. Idk how I can even type. Just too much at once and I cant bare too much more. Bad thing is I have no one to talk to. No one I can trust or care to trust. I thought I had no innocence left but I guess I did. Only two options appear and they are dark. Ive never seen my eyes so red and I never wanted to leave this earth as bad as I do today. Or have I. Pain now seems to cloud even the longest of memories and I wonder if I have been this low b4. Then I look at my meds and my arm and I think maybe. But then there is God and Jesus somewhere close by turning this hurt into tears so it no longer poisons my thoughts. Its just that as close as They are, I know the devil is sitting right in my shoulder whispering in my ear. Times like these I cant hear Them so clearly but he sure comes in clear like HD. He says I dont have to do much. Just let the sorrow consume me bcuz at this point Im dying of a broken heart. I told you all something bad was going to happen. I knew it. Now its my choice on what to do. Im so tired tho. So tired of fighting. Ill set my alarm and if I wake up from this I will fight on. But if I dont I will have never felt a release so sweet. By the pains in my chest I say 50/50. I wish I could calm down but somethings u can never comeback from no matter how much u move forward. Im sooo tired sooooooo tired.
Posted on: Wed, 21 Jan 2015 04:47:28 +0000
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