Oh, my poor livingroom. . . its stressed. The fabric pile is becoming smaller the closer that Christmas gets, but still it remains with patterns scattered about, a cutting sheet on the floor with rulers, scissors and rotary cutters. Gifts for the grandkids have been in the making and are piling up on the couch, along with a couple of baby blankets for the new arrivals for 2 of my neighbors. Ive been having fun with it. God has given me an early Christmas gift this year, its been the best gift that Ive ever received. . . the true realization of what Christmas is. Ive really come to realize also, those 18 between my head and my heart, theyre more like 18 miles. I feel this entire process of losing Kenny has taken what Ive tended to know in my head and has been inching it towards my heart. For that Im thankful. This has been my first real year home for Christmas since Kenny died. The first one was so close to his passing and memorial, I spent it in a fog, along with Todd, Tara and their family, just trying to remember to breath. My 2nd Christmas I was invited back to Phil and Tracys, in Iowa, I spent it with them and my Mom. So. . . what to do with this year? Ive faced many of Ken and my traditions and have set them aside, maybe not for good, but for this year. We always went out and cut our own tree, even after the kids married and left home. This year? A small artificial one, that we had purchased for outdoor decorating, sits in the livingroom yet undecorated. (It adds to the sewing upheaval look, ha) I use to do a lot Christmas baking, not this year. I plan to make Chex Mix for my kids and their families, that will probably be it. I use to have the Christmas music blaring throughout the house the day after Thanksgiving thru the entire month of December. Not so much this year, theres too many songs about being home for Christmas and of Christmas past, they hurt. I just got all my pumpkin and Thanksgiving decorations put away up in the attic. (I cleaned the attic while putting them away, yeah! Thats a huge milestone for me.) Do I have the house decked out for Christmas yet? Nope, just a wreath and asnowman outside the front door. It occurred to me this year of what Christmas is and what Ive made it into in the years of the past. Its the day that we celebrate Christ birth and realize the salvation that can be found in that gift that was given to us. All the rest is traditions. . . family get togethers, big family meals, gift exchanges, Christmas music playing, the decking of the halls, its all traditions of how we celebrate Christmas. But, it occurred to me, that if none of those traditions were able to be fulfilled, would there still be Christmas? Yes, there would be. And if there wasnt? Then maybe my traditions had become more valuable to me then Christmas itself, then the gift God has given us all, His Son. Those thoughts take me to the Bible. . . Its so easy to look at the Pharisees and Sadducees of the New Testament and point an accusing finger at them. With a sneer of judgment I can proclaim that their traditions were so important to them that they couldnt even see Christ when he arrived. Is it really that different today in my own heart? Hmmm. . . the choice is mine. Blessings to you all!
Posted on: Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:31:04 +0000
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