Ok CRAZY AS THIS SOUNDS... watching this made me miss my folks, both of whom are deceased. Motherly love is one of the strongest forces on earth. I always kinda knew that though my Mom had emotional problems that kinda complicated the whole familys ability to grow and become independent. BUT after ahe got proper emotional care in last two decades of her life, even though she could barely talk or walk due to heart issues, I always made sure to do somethimg when wed stop by for dinners after ahe couldnt get up to the dining room and ate on a tray while all the other guests ate and chatted in the kitchen as we all used to; I would move all the health supply boxes and newspapers my Dad kinda left in her area, then I sat as close as I could (i was like 40 to 45 keep in mind..) to her so I could give her a quick kiss on the forehead then Id do something that made us BOTH just a bit happier..get her doing what she did best..being a loving healing MOM. I would rest my head on one of her shoulders and tell her IF she EVER felt useless or irrelevant anymore (Dad tipped me off that she did) to just think how this 45 yr old man still needed to hear some of her perfect things to say when any of us Jones kids , now even though middle aged, needed that sweet voice reminding us what was really important and usually what we were upset about was an easy fix for a caring parent. Going back in time to when I was twelve and felt ugly or unpopular and that one in a bazillion hug and a word of advice reminding me I was just about perfect to her, just like all 3 Jones kids, meant the world. I would tell her I would need her love and reassurance even if we both lived well past 100. And that she wasnt simply still relevant or useful... She was indispensible, loved more than I could ever express just right (same with Dad who just passed recently, though we became closer than when we all lived ttogether for two decades in that house) Yep, Moms are irreplaceable. The only people in the world usually along with Dad but Moms are better at expressing feelings somehow.. Your zoul mate gets you and it is mutual. If you find one another you are blessed, like me and Dan. But some folks show you they care and love you in many many precious ways but not all can verbalize it. It comes naturally to Moms. When you grow up and leave the nest (just like a baby squirrel..lol, ) parents somehow sense you need a spirit uplift and its amazing how often I got calls on very bad days asking how I was doing and wanting to help. just hearing those voices say we will always be here for you. Ended many a moody spell for me..and if so ething GREAT I KNEW WOULD MAKE THEM KINDA PROUD happened, Id immediately have the urge to call and share the news..and would..IF THEY DIDNT SOMEHOW SENSE IT FIRST AND CALL JUST TO SEE WHAT IF ANYTHING WAS NEW..BEFORE I EVEN GOT TO CALL THEM. After seeing them in person when we moved 700-1200 mi away to Georgia then Miami, and went up for a rare home visit I will always remember I hugged, not just a tiny squeeze, but a bear hug.. Hugged my Dad and gave him a little smack on the cheek followed by the words I found so hard to say as a boy to a treasuured though imperfect father back in the 1960s/70s (macho bullshit protocol forbade it-) I really, really love you Dad and when I saw the happy tears in his eyes I regretted not doing that every single time he proved his love and care for all of us over the years. Best I could do when I became too ill to travel so far was to TRY to call weekly or more, send a surprise goofy gift like a Detroit Tiger bobblehead player doll or a picture book crammed with pics of HIS Detroit he grew up in in the 1920s.. Or just send a card for no special reason. Especially after he lost HIS soul mate, my mom. And was so lonely, I tried to be a better son but could have done even far more. BOTH my folks ashes were interred at a ceremony that would have made him so..so..proud at the VA cemetery in MI, complete with honor guard, 21 gun salute- the works. My Dad helped save the free world just like any of you with Dads (even Moms) who as part of the greatest generation did some amazingly brave and selsacrificing things. As a kid I was foolish and never asked him a whole lot about the war ...but after he stood the pain, flew a special charter to Washington, and sat in his wheelchair to be saluted during that wonderful program that still, I believe, flies WWII vets to ceremonies at the DC WWII MEMORIAL to recognize what they did: survivors and those who died in the war and were present in spirit... Every phone call I could come up with a question about his life at HS graduation, being drafted, serving in the auto then medical corps, carrying badly hurt GIs to the overcrowded Honolulu hospitals..and most tantalizingly..HOW HE MET MOM, a story that changed from a formal introduction to a wolf whistle on the street and my Mom thinking Dad was pretty great too at Neosho Mo in 1945, I never tired of our talks. He never stopped caring how I was feeling healthwise or moodwise so far away.. he at 87 and me at um, uh nevermind my age...lol, became the Dad and son we shoulda been all those years ago. But those melted away and only good times were thought of. Just the way it oughtta be. So seeing the cute little squirrel Mom saving and loving her babies reminded me how families are the bases upon which we build our lives, with our parents the strongest links. I MISS BOTH MY FOLKS SO MUCH every once in awhile..just for a second.. i see something about the War or about the town where my folks raised me..and I think i should call Dad and tell him. Never again by phone, but maybe if he and Mom watch over us kids of theirs, they know theybate thought of often and with love and respect ..the kind. I fear many very young parents are never going to experience. All I can say is if they are with us still, TREASURE YOUR PARENTS AND GRANDPARENTS, ...and... IF IMWERE A JR OR SR HIGH CIVICS,,SOCIOLOGY OR ANY APPLICABLE SUBJECT TEACHER, ID REQUIRE EVERY STUDENT TO INTERVIEW THEIR ELDERS AND COMPILE A FAMILY BIOGRAPHY. I SURE WISH I HAD. SO MANY QUESTIONS,, SO MANY ANSWERS I WILL NEVER HEAR. BUT, as I mentioned a few times already this lengthy, heartfelt post we ALL shared the words LOVE YOU! I,encourage it, next visit or,call.... Youre still their babies. ISNT THAT WONDERFUL? LOVE YOU MOM AND DAD, I LOVE THIS BEAUTIFUL WORLD GOD HAS CREATED BUT HONESTLY, I CANNOT WAIT TO SIT WITH YOU BOTH AGAIN AND RELIVE THE GREAT DAYS OF MY CHILDHOODMAND TO SAY its okay that it was,sometimes FAR from perfect. Dan, youre younger than me and may lag behind, but youre joining in.....whenthe time comes far from now.. DAD loved you as a SECOND SON, pretty remarkable for a parent born before the start of the Great Depression to very conservative parents to not accept but Love you... But then again youre pretty special,too, Dan Ferrell, my love.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 07:54:02 +0000
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