Ok. Ill say this. Ive got serious psych problems. But Im a good person. Just because I never wanted to kill myself, doesnt make me or anyone else any better than anyone who does. Its just a mental illness presenting itself in a different way. Its worse than feeling sad. It is literally feeling inhuman, desperately broken, irreparably defeated and destroyed. Irretrievably lost and absolutely missing. No amount of thinking it over or cheering up or looking on the bright side can fix it. Anytime I hear anyone say they have no sympathy for someone who kills themselves, I realize immediately that the person saying that is purposefully not fully realizing the reality of mental illness. Its not the easy way out. If it was, everyone would kill themselves. Its not someone who is weak. Its the opposite in most cases. Theyve been handling more burden than most people can for their entire lives, convincingly pretending they were fine. And no one should be surprised that a person who is so funny, intelligent and exciting could still be so depressed. I can tell you from my own experience, sometimes we act that way in order to keep a step ahead of that emotional devil that seems to be constantly gaining on us. We write, to figure things out for which there is no solution. We perform to try to feel loved by people who dont know us because we often are incapable (without professional help) of understanding or being able to accept it experience the love from those who know us and love us. We draw and paint to empty out our minds. We do all of it to empty out our minds. Happy, funny, creative and manic isnt the opposite of depressed. Its a symptom sometimes, though. Sometimes depression drives you to create and to entertain. Dont be so surprised that theyre so frequently connected. Peaceful and accepting of life is the opposite of depression. I love this phrase: Joy At Last To Know There Is No Happiness In The World. I hope Mr. Williams has Peace and Joy.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 03:45:51 +0000
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