Ok, after yesterdays demoralization of my manhood in regard to the weather, which led to my whining like a little school girl about being cold, I felt that I owed it to myself to at least try to redeem myself today. I did my usual clothes layering thing, taking into account it being colder today. I am smart. I am confident that I know how to do this so that today - I am victorious. I spent nearly 10 minutes preparing. I carefully chose just the right accouterments, and the correct order they should be applied. I wiggled into each one, carefully adjusting this way and that so that everything fit just right. I tugged here and twisted there. I jimmied and I jerked, I bounced and shook, zipped this and buttoned that. After nearly 10 minutes of some of the best acrobatics that would rival any seen in Olympic gymnastics, I was ready. Today - - - - - I shall be redeemed; my manhood restored. I opened the back door to a blast of cold air that I knew had to have been sent urgent delivery right straight from the very bowels of a dark, frozen underworld. I valiantly gritted my teeth and shook my fist at the wind in defiance. NOT TODAY, I shouted. You shall not reduce me into the cowering, shivering, sniveling coward of yesterday. Bravely I stepped outside, confident of VICTORY over my icy tormentors. With great confidence, strength of heart, and nerves of steel, I grabbed my rake. Into the icy grip of the onslaught of wind the leaves they did fly. Mountains of leaves did move at a single stroke of my arm. Not a leaf escaped my determined hands. Deeper and deeper into my flesh the icy predator thrust his dagger of ice. With each icy thrust, I but laughed at the face on my tormentor. Back and forth the battle raged. Thrust after thrust mine enemy threw, and sweep after sweep, by my own hands, the leaves they did fly. Thunder clapped, lightning flashed as harder and harder mine enemy did assail me with his vengeful and insidious battle tactics. Smoke rose in the sky in darkening billows as the cannon raised their tumultuous roar, hurling round after round of frozen, icy shrapnel about me. Sweep after sweep and with the gnashing of teethe the leaves they did continue to soar as i counter mine enemies blows. ** Wait a minute. ** I fear that something is wrong. ** This is not working ** MOMMY - ITS COLD OUT HERE ! CAN I COME IN NOW? UNCLE ! I QUIT ! M-O-O-O-O-O-M-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y !
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 00:49:58 +0000
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